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I’d thought the news was coming almost a week earlier. Mom had texted saying to call my brother “ASAP” and, hearing his answer and… then his story, I was like, “Well, Dad’s dead.” But it wasn’t until Sunday afternoon when I found out he’d passed. It was a rather quiet and peaceful acknowledgement, considering our past.

The more I look around, the more I see so many ways in which I’d been preparing. There were many physical, emotional, and spiritual transitions through the years but in the last few days, some really weird coincidences? Here’s a couple:

  • The pineapple upside-down cake experiment Saturday night. NEVER BEFORE do I recall making pineapple upside down cake, a specialty of Gramma’s (his mama)… but I sure felt a draw to make one this weekend. And I did. And it was delicious. And I did celebrate the old man with it Sunday.
  • Oh! And I’d made tuna salad for lunch Saturday and took some of the tuna and some frozen veggies and made a rice tuna casserole which is really good with cheese and sour cream but which needs more peas… and I thought today, as I enjoyed the leftovers, “Well, looks like we have the funeral casserole… CHECK.”

So what did I do?

I notified family… I called my uncle – his brother-in-law – and had a good chat with him that was very comforting. I tried getting in touch with my brother and, having had a week of really good conversations with him, decided to give him a day to grieve after I’d assured him he could call…

He’d tried to call me when Dad passed but my phone has been working through issues and I discovered it was disconnected from the web overnight. Anyway, I ended up waking today and turning the phone back online and getting a wave of notifications. I finally got the kinks worked out of it… then decided to make a playlist of some of Dad’s faves and listen to music on the porch. I picked Stevie Nicks (of course), Heavy Metal Movie Soundtrack tracks, Adele, and some childhood faves like American Pie and hit Shuffle Play… By the third track, this little white spider shows up and hangs out all afternoon with us – disappearing for a while and then showing up again for Adele’s Hello. We had a very nice day, though I don’t know where he went now so hopefully he’s watching out for us. Got some cool shots of the little dude.

White Spider Jam

Later in the evening, I had a SUPER FUN Zoom session with friends that was just the cheering I needed. After, we watched a movie and then Dan took me for an early morning drive to see the comet… no luck on that but we saw a BUNCH of shooting stars, satellites, meteors, owls, and a cat. It was a thrilling day reminiscing and remembering and hearing messages in songs.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.