By the time we realized the truth, it was too late to do anything.
Humans never were good at understanding our limits.
Our hubris was our demise.
17 Monday Apr 2023
Posted Citizenship, Climate Change, Community, Coronavirus, Death, Economics, Family, Health, Human Extinction, Musingsin
By the time we realized the truth, it was too late to do anything.
Humans never were good at understanding our limits.
Our hubris was our demise.
03 Monday Apr 2023
Posted Citizenship, Community, Finding Your Purpose, Musingsin
If being a good ally means only following and listening, I am a bad ally.
Did Creator not make me as I am supposed to be? A questioning, puzzle-piecing, thinking, compassionate, metallurgical engineer?
Should I stop asking questions? Some say that my questions seem accusatory or critical, rather than inquisitive. I can work on my tone, yet…
I want to ask friends, “If you know my heart, why do you take my questions as criticism instead of inquiry?”
Pondering how to find my way.
[This was written some time back. I’ve worked on tone and approach as I continue to discover my own personal evolution, yet still, occasionally, this thinking arises.]
We’re all doing our best as we walk these paths through life. 💖
20 Monday Mar 2023
We watch our banks… collapsing?
Or being made to appear as if they are anyway.
I wonder how much longer…
before all the systems ~ every one of which is showing signs of strain… to keep up with growing needs, improve upon services, or even maintain its basic foundations ~
are simply GONE.
We joke about the internet disappearing.
Yet, how much is already unavailable… under the thumb that ensures no “misinformation”?
(Or… maybe just moved… to a new platform… where one can still speak freely?)
But is the day soon? When we simply won’t have these magic computers in our pockets to tell us…
Who to be.
Which place has the best doohickey for the least output.
How to get where we’re going.
Some joke about humans who cannot get from point A to B without a GPS machine directing them.
The latest fad is using paper maps.
(Who knew, Mom!?! You’ve always been ahead of the curve.)
So how are we navigating now?
Are we still following the signs of a colonized culture, hell bent on using military might to ensure its GDP?
Are we still mindlessly seeking the next job, clothes, partner, car, house… that will fulfill us?
Are we sensing the fruitlessness, nay cruelty, of the American Way of Life?
Many more each day, by choice or circumstance, are choosing a new way.
A holistic, universal, mutual aid network way of engaging with their fellow crew members.
A way that is more direct, local, sustainable, and… FUN!!!
I am calling it the BEconomy.
This is a place where each of us can BE who we are… doing the work we love ~ be it cooking, researching, fishing, sewing, cleaning, growing, organizing, teaching, entertaining ~ each and every one of us… loving our neighbors as we find our way forward together… in love, for the good of all.
Some may call me a Dreamer.
This feels like a big new year opening before me…
And I feel it just may be…
My best yet.
06 Monday Feb 2023
Posted Being Yourself, Finding Your Purpose, Local Reporting, Musingsin
On Thursday, I rammed my car head first into a 4′ snow bank, burying it 6′ deep. I was trapped inside the vehicle and it was really, REALLY cold out.
I was looking forward, and downward, at a huge steel pylon for the high power lines, but the snow had stopped me from the damage that it would have done.
I think I know why I did it.
I didn’t know why at the time.
Yet it does seem a bit like, from here forward, my life will be segmented by what it was before I hit the snow bank…
And what it is after.
02 Monday Jan 2023
As Dan and I made our way home from Nagaajiwanaang (Fond du Lac Reservation) on New Year’s Eve, I felt wonderful Peace.
It seems I’ve done all I can in the past year to bring good, find solutions, offer my help, and do my best to win*.
And it was good to feel that success alongside good friends and collaborators who are so supportive.
As I remember all those who have been a part of this past year, it’s lovely to recall times of collaboration, feelings of breakthrough, and delicious times of fun and frivolity – though I can’t find a video of our vow renewal.
It’s harder to remember the times of hopelessness, the feelings of defeat, and the many ugly discoveries we’ve made in the land.
Yet we are bouyed by those around us also working for good. And you can see and hear my latest in a lucky piece where I rant and rave while little birds eat from my hand.
*Here’s what I mean by “win”.
Blessed New Year as you do your best… to Win.
26 Monday Dec 2022
Posted Being Yourself, Family, Insanity, Musingsin
complex, industrial, Listening, Men, military, Poetry, Power, prison, Relationship, Women
“I didn’t listen again, did I? I’m sorry.”
I always think it’s gonna be different
And here we are again
Fuck fuck fuck is this frustrating
Just like the rest of the world
A microcosm of the system writ large
Yet just an everyday occurrence
Here’s what you get little lady!
That’s how it is.
Sorry it’s not to your liking.
Don’t bother saying anything about it because you can’t undo what’s been done
This is just how it is.
This is just how it always has been.
This is just what you get.
Deal with it
On your own
In my head I swirl with possibilities
Responses unsaid as they’ve been given before to no avail
Ways I could have made it different
Fantasies of a future that might have been
Reasons its my fault
Always reasons its my fault
Yet its never my fault
It is just the way it is
I could have said something earlier
[Like in the past when it didn’t work]
I could have said STOP
[By the time I did it was too late]
I could ask for resolution
[I’m far too triggered for that now]
Instead I spiral in the silence
I’m tired of feeling powerless
I’m tired of going through this same thing again
I’m tired of it not being the way I want it
I’m tired of not getting what I want as I watch you get the things you need
I’m tired of my perspective not being a concern
I’m tired of my feelings being ignored
I’m tired of my wishes not even being a part of the plan
I’m tired of being invisible
I’m mad at myself
I don’t want to cry about this
I wasn’t going cry about this
Not ever again
But here I am
When will I be able to go through this without crying
When will I be able to not be affected by this
When will I be able to simply laugh at the absurd consistencies of this life
Let alone the horrific inconsistencies
Why is it ok
Why do we let it happen
And when it happens why do we ignore it
Why don’t we even talk about it
We just go on as of nothing has happened
As if no harms were incurred
As if this is an event that didn’t ever exist
Because if it did
And someone was hurt
Shouldn’t we talk about it
Wouldn’t that at least let me know someone cares
Someone else sees that it’s not how things should be
Someone else sees that we need a change
Someone else wants to help
Someone else doesn’t ever want me to hurt like this again
It’s not just me
When a little girl is raped do we think it more horrible than rape of an older woman
Why are we so horrified for the little girl
Why are we often dismissive of the woman
Or worse yet blame her for her fate
Do we sometimes blame the little girl
She shouldn’t have been so pretty
Such a distraction an attraction
She should have said NO
One more time
When will we get a voice
When will things be done aligned to common goals
When will power heed the voices of innocence
When might we be able to say No
And be heard
When might I not feel like I’m so tired of this that an end might be better
When might I be able to simply not feel all the history of my past
In these times when I am again
Mother Earth alone comforts my pain
She and I together
Until all awaken
Until we are legion
The source of this poem is so sadly everyday. Yet it helps me better understand the ways I carry pain, how my past is so often jumping into my present, and how easily doubts can derail. Simply writing and reading this work to a friend has opened me to freedom from some of the trauma. I am hopeful it helps you similarly.
26 Monday Sep 2022
Posted Community, Finding Your Purpose, Happiness in Life, Musingsin
If our greatest joy is in connecting, then does it make sense our greatest fear is in not being accepted?
Do we not connect when we embrace another being?
Do we not connect with each flower we meet with our eye?
Are our ears not connected to the wind… or the song of a bird?
Can we not taste the connection as we are nourished, incorporating another life to ensure our own?
Is this not the greatest gift a being can give, to nourish another with their essence… be it song, beauty, sustenance, or comfort? Do we not sense the interconnectedness of it all, sometimes consciously, yet surely unconsciously in each moment?
Are we afraid now… of not being accepted by the Earth?
Are we needing only to reconnect with Her to find our peace?
Are we not forgiving of the needs that come our way? Meeting them with grace and fulfilling them in love and compassion? Be they our own needs or those of others?
If we can do this, perhaps we learned it best from our first Mother… Mother Earth?
19 Monday Sep 2022
Posted Being Yourself, Book Review, Community, Finding Your Purpose, Happiness in Life, Musingsin
Here are some of the things I’m learning in recent weeks.
I attribute these things to my years studying the Tao (with a bunch of wonderful folks, mostly my Alex friends yet others along the Path as well) and also to the many books I’ve enjoyed over the years, of which, a new one (to me) has been especially helpful – The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz. [I liked this gal’s summary highlighting the lessons in this work.]
BTW, BIG SHOUTOUT to Amy McCoy who simply gave me this book after I asked her about it on her bookshelf. She is an amazing human being.
In The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz illuminates the fear-based beliefs and assumptions that undermine love and lead to suffering and drama in our relationships. Using insightful stories to bring his message to life, Ruiz shows us how to heal our emotional wounds, recover the freedom and joy that are our birthright, and restore the spirit of playfulness that is vital to loving relationships.
The Mastery of Love includes:
• Why “domestication” and the “image of perfection” lead to self-rejection
• The war of control that slowly destroys most relationships
• Why we hunt for love in others, and how to capture the love inside us
• How to finally accept and forgive ourselves and others
“Happiness can only come from inside of you and is the result of your love. When you are aware that no one else can make you happy, and that happiness is the result of your love, this becomes the greatest mastery of the Toltec: the Mastery of Love.” — don Miguel RuizFrom the Publisher
I’ve also enjoyed some insightful blogs that resonated this past week.
And here are some of my own ramblings on things…
There is plenty of injustice in the world. I’m hopeful we can start loving ourselves to the truth… that we’re all horrible and wonderful beings. It seems to me that we all deserve grace and compassion. We can offer those to our kin, even while honoring others who have gone ahead, regardless of how they went.
Fear and division bring suffering.
No blame is necessary. Nor praise for that matter, I’m finding.
Love serves us best in this life.
I’m working to learn all these lessons myself.Response given on my Send Leonard Peltier at Card FB post
…to one not sure of my mission.
I would recommend taking what any government is currently saying with a few grains of salt.
I’d note that our own US Govt has yet to figure out an end to poverty… while many serving in the US government are millionaires these days.
And look how GREAT it’s working for them. Our “leaders” have health care provided for them, while Americans in general, do not. The politicians fly about on the taxpayer dime, while many Americans can no longer afford to get to work each week with the price of fuel for our cars… as the managers continue to provide little in the way of public transport.
Consider the goals of the government narratives – endless wars and destruction, extraction that steals the future from our children, instead of talking and working to find commonly agreeable solutions.
And consider the history as well. The US has been moving for decades with this Us v. Them narrative… that divides and distracts… while the powerful and rich continue to thrive… and everyday Americans get the choice of heading to war for the machine… or living on the scraps paid by the Corps(e).A thought shared in response to commentary on war.
This too awakens.
“Your sense of alienation is entirely valid and based in truth. … Truth is beckoning us all forward and these mind-cages they have built for us aren’t real enough to hold us in for much longer.”
Consider cutting through the dream… and embracing truth and beauty… and then bringing the world we know can be?
01 Monday Aug 2022
Motherhood is a time of love and compassion for a new Life…
A gift to cherish and enjoy each day.
Motherhood is a place to give Comfort…
A cozy place to find the ultimate well-being.
Motherhood is a time to Teach but more importantly to Learn…
A child will always create more understanding than he gains.
Motherhood is an adventure of intricate Mystery.
It is full of paths taken… some then abandoned and new trails blazed.
It has spaces of darkness and hopelessness,
where one knows not how to proceed.
And spaces of unbelievably brilliant light,
where one truly understands.
The Beauty of Life.
The Enormity of Love.
The Joy of Happiness.
The Tranquility of Peace.
23 Monday May 2022
Posted Death, Happiness in Life, Homesteading, Local Reporting, Musingsin
With recent travel to Indiana, we were blessed to have a wonderful caretaker here at the HARN to watch out for Gaazhii while we were away. In addition to home and cat care, she blessed our space and cleaned it up, pulling us to continue towards more cleaning and organizing as we got settled back at home.
This week we have gathered wood – after a walk with Gaazhii on his new leash – one of those pull ones that dogs use to go further away. He’s gonna have to build up his muscles to pull it, though, so far, we’re doing ok with it. Also got him some flea/tick oil for his neck as we found a first tick this weekend. Ugh.
And… (major, years overdue job…) cleaned out the fridge!! [(not pictured) Also did loads of laundry!!]
It’s still cool here in the woods so we’ll be focusing on wood cutting and gathering to prepare for summer fires and winter warmth later this year. Meanwhile, I found some time for crafting!! Always good to get some creative juices flowing. Just finished (almost*) reading Good Life, Good Death as you can see pictured here. HIGHLY Recommend this book. [*Found the last few pages cut from the book… oddly.]
The Rocket Mass Heater will need some work this summer/fall as we prepare for another season and hope for a finishing of the mass additions. Gardens are greening and await news of who will come. So far lettuce and onion are the most prolific visitors, besides – already GIGANTIC – rhubarb.
Oriole came through for a brief visit over the weekend! Robin (opichi) is often seen foraging in the yard.
We have new friends popping up all around… daffodil, hepatica, gooseberry, raspberry, rhubarb, fern, iris, peony, cone-flower, and circles of chives! We listen to the frogs croaking each evening and the sandhills chortling as crow makes an occasional pass through forest. Haven’t seen makwa (bear) of late… yet chickadee guards the meat scraps he finds! The wind and rain continue to bring messages of warning and love. Turkey… gichi-bine… maintains a presence on the porch.
We hope you too are looking forward to a fun spring of growing and enjoying time with all your relatives.