Privileged to be Here

Tags

common sense, communication, Privilege, Rec Lab

An interesting thing happened recently to someone I know.  You may have heard about it on the news.  It has made me think about how Privileged I am so this is my discussion for this week’s blog.

A friend of mine, Kima Hamilton, was asked to leave the plane on which he was awaiting takeoff because Delta felt that his going to the bathroom while they were sitting on the tarmac constituted a requirement to remove him from the airplane.  The plane had been waiting for take-off for an hour.  There was no apparent consideration given to the natural need of a human to relieve himself as being normal and necessary.  Kima was forced to purchase another ticket with another airline at three times the cost to make his way home in time to be with his students the following morning.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-kicked-delta-flight-bathroom-plane-waited-article-1.3106952

Kima is over six-foot tall, a black man sporting dreadlocks.  At first glance, and with all our cultural programming, he can seem scary to a white person.  He’s big, black and strong.  I get that.  I know prejudice against blacks is built into me as a white person raised in America.  It’s all over our news, it’s built into the way our whole society runs from politics to economics to housing to jobs to justice.  But once Kima opens his mouth, you realize he is a gentle giant.  Once you see his smile, you feel the rays of sunshine pouring from him into you.  It’s instant love.  He is likely the most gentlemanly person I’ve ever had the chance to meet.  And, even when you ask a thoughtless question, trying to find some comprehension but in the most white-privileged of ways, he answers you with calm and thoughtful consideration.  He leaves you realizing the vastness of his patience and the enormity of his contemplation.  OK, here’s how it went down two years ago…

I was walking with Dasha Kelly (Kima’s wife) and Kima and, after confirming they would be open to a serious question on my mind, asked, “Is being black kind of like being fat?  I mean, I forget that I’m fat sometimes and think I’m a normal sized person like most of the people around me.  Is it ever like that for you?”  Dasha and I ripped into an analysis of this and bantered back and forth as we walked along to the Dining Hall at Rec Lab.  Then she looked at him and asked, “What do you think, Kima.” In a quiet and calm manner, he said, “I never forget I’m black.”  Boom.  The realization of my ignorance came at me full force.  How unaware I am!  I never have to deal with the color of my skin being an instant piece of information for people to decide who I am.  I have no comprehension of how it feels to be judged so instantaneously and, more often than not, in a negative way.  How great must be his strength, emotionally and spiritually, to not lash back in anger at this ongoing and persistent dilemma? I was astounded.

Kima also did an amazing performance of a piece of his spoken word poetry that week at Rec Lab that brought home the feelings of being a black man stopped by the police.  It was a powerful thing.  I was left with tears in my eyes.  But I don’t have to live with that every day.  He does.  I guess the possibility of losing your life for a mis-spoken word may give power to your ability to stay calm.  I am sure I do not have this skill.  I would have been dead a long time ago if I’d been born black.  Being angry and outspoken is another benefit of my Privilege.

Here are some posts from some on FB of Kima’s Delta event:

• This is my friend and colleague of over ten years, Kima Hamilton. He is a talented spoken word artist/poet, a devoted father and husband, a respected teacher, a damn good DJ, and one of the kindest, meekest and humblest men I have ever had the privilege of befriending. If anyone was ever able to diffuse a potentially volatile situation with common sense, humor, compassion and genuine goodwill it would be THIS MAN. Shame on Delta for targeting him for his looks, and creating a problematic situation where there truly was none. … The part at the end where they describe him apologizing to his fellow passengers for the inconvenience was the icing on the cake. That is PURE KIMA!!!
• Anyone who has ever met Kima Hamilton knows that he a kind and gentle soul; it just gets under my skin that things like this are happening everywhere. Have we really become more concerned with “rules” than treating human beings with dignity and respect? I understand the need for flight safety, but there has to be a better way than this. #FightThePower#HumanDecency
• This is crazy! Kima Hamilton is so calm n nice alllllll the time!!!  http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/delta-employees-asked-man-leave-flight-after-using-restroom-videos-n751811
• Kima Hamilton is one one of the nicest you’ll ever meet. I’m sure he meant no disrespect.
• My poor friend Kima Hamilton, how dare they do this to you! You handled yourself so well tho. But I wouldn’t have expected anything less from you. :)Love ya Kima!!
• [And maybe my favorite] Kima Hamilton, I’m impressed by how you handled this and glad that your fellow passengers spoke up and made video and wrote about it. I can imagine I might have been granted more leeway had this been me, and so I appreciate you using the occasion to bring up the way you have to walk through the world evaluating situations based on the body you’re in as a Black man.

Less than a minute of going to the bathroom resulted in hours of delay for everyone.  Ridiculous.

“My take-away from this experience is that I will not be flying Delta again. Who treats a person like this? Have you forgotten that the people that pay to fill the seats are actually human beings who sometimes have emergencies (like having to use the bathroom when you have been waiting on the plane for an hour)?” ~ A fellow passenger, Krista Rosolino, and lawyer who recorded the events

So, was what he did illegal?  Here’s a legal link (bold print is my addition): http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/tarmac-delays-airline-passenger-rights-33011.html

New Rules Protect Airline Passengers

New U.S. Department of Transportation regulations on tarmac delays went into effect in late April 2010. So how do the new rules protect air passengers? Here are some highlights:

• Airlines must return planes to the gate and let passengers off any time a flight is sitting on the tarmac for three hours.
• Airlines must provide passengers with adequate food and water within the first two hours of any tarmac delay.
• Adequate toilet facilities must be maintained and made available to passengers during the delay.

What is Kima’s take?

“Was race a factor? Yes. How did I feel? Like another Tuesday. Even if I’m right, as a man of color, I have to calculate when to advocate for myself and when to let things slide, how to preserve my dignity and protect myself from harm. The full letter of the law that Delta keeps referencing actually allows for common sense discretion, but the flight attendant chose not to treat me with compassion or respect. She conveniently reported me as ‘unruly’ which was proven untrue. These are the microaggressions we have to process every day. I waited as long as I could. Communicated at every step. Was mindful not to appear ‘threatening,’ and still, here are two FBI agents with instructions to arrest me? How do I pay money for a flight and be left at the mercy of a crew that doesn’t care about the passengers in every seat?? How do I complain and not be dismissed as ‘the angry black guy’? What do I want? A healthy dialogue about decency. About the abuses in airport culture. About corporate responsibility from Delta and accountability for the unnecessary extremes enacted by an employee. I want us to acknowledge how quickly this unremarkable event became a volatile incident and how easily it could have ended in tragedy. You could be interviewing my wife or mother right now because of a string of events set in motion by a power-tipsy flight attendant. What I want is the return of human dignity.” ~Kima Hamilton

With all this talk of Kima, I have to also give a shout out to his partner, Dasha Kelly.  She is the reason I got a chance to meet him.  She was our main speaker at Rec Lab two years ago and they both presented material.  She, a force of nature in her encouragement and teaching, a gentle breeze of critique.  He, a ferociously honest spoken word artist, a warm hug of comfort.  They are a perfect pair.  That sunshine you feel when Kima smiles at you?  Dasha has that same magic with her words.  You instantly fall in love with her.  I admit I had just read her book Almost Crimson – a delightful and insightful read – so was already in Groupie mode when I met her face to face.  But watching everyone else at Lab, hearing this year how many folks missed the two of them being at camp, I’m pretty sure they are just as buoyantly lovable as I hold them in my heart to be.  Here’s a beautiful story of a student of Dasha’s from recent news: https://www.facebook.com/88nine/videos/10154439929702478/

So what has this led me to?  A real evaluation of Privilege and consideration of what I can do to alleviate the systemic ways we sustain it.  A wonderful article by Peggy McIntosh (sadly, from 1988 – how slowly we learn) on the topic can be found here: https://nationalseedproject.org/white-privilege-and-male-privilege This article is beautifully written and is followed up with a summary of talking points to consider in addressing the topic.  I will readily admit to my own shortcomings in applying them – I am such a bull in a china shop when I get passionate about an idea.   There is much to learn from this piece and I encourage you to take the time to read it along with the talking points.  If we can all incorporate the concept and work towards a more egalitarian way of life, the world will be a better place.

Being at Rec Lab also taught me a real lesson on my Physical Ability Privilege.  It was so interesting to see the world a bit more from the perspective of friends Roxanne and Dorothy who use wheelchairs for locomotion.  Being in Roxanne’s specially designed vehicle was an eye-opener to how much work goes into simply getting from one place to another.  Her strength is amazing.  And that is one of the key points to the article above.  “…’Privilege’ may confer power, it does not confer moral strength…. In some groups, those dominated have actually become strong through not having all of these unearned advantages, and this gives them a great deal to teach the others. Members of so-called privileged groups can seem foolish, ridiculous, infantile, or dangerous by contrast.”  Yes, I can see how foolish I often sound to one who deals with having to work twice as hard to earn half as much.

Even in my attempting to speak with Roxanne and Dorothy about the ideas for wheelchair access, I was clumsy.  And once I realized how much I didn’t know, I wanted everyone to know.  I found occasions through the week at Lab to move chairs or let someone know we might want to be sure we have wheelchair access.  I was not always graceful in these efforts.  I forget how uncomfortable it can be for any of us to confront ideas with which we are not familiar, especially when we are also feeling chastised for not being more aware.  I have such a curiousity that I jump in and try to work on better comprehension and often don’t realize how I leave behind ideas of helping others gracefully walk with me.  Instead, I am like a computer gathering data, knowing I will work on putting all the pieces together later.  I am an enthusiastic newcomer wanting to take in as much about the new idea as I can.  I often ask dumb questions, thoughtlessly.  I direct people or make offers to share on the idea and am often not appreciated or seen as helpful. 🙂  But from those who deal every moment with others who don’t understand, I often find kindness and understanding. They calmly answer my questions.  Gently correct my perceptions.  Show me ways I can help or understand them.

I know I am where I am due to Privilege.  While I experienced my own place of disadvantage when it came to my sex and my size, I faced so little of what others face in a daily way.  I never had to worry too much about being accepted for the most part, knowing life would be easy by-and-large.  Even when things seemed tough, I could usually retain faith that all would work out for the best.  I always had a roof over my head, never went hungry, found it easy to get a job when I needed one, never was dragged to jail (even when I’d done something that likely deserved it).  Many do not have this pleasure.  Many have to deal with an uphill battle that is unrecognized and often invisible to the majority.

It’s a good thing to reflect on my luck of birth.  And to think about how life may be from a perspective of not being so lucky.  I have the privilege of being born white, middle-class, tall, healthy and in America. For all our faults here in this country, we live in ease compared with much of the rest of the world.  And in some ways, this is a good place to be as a person dealing with being in a minority or a class deemed as “inferior”.  There are laws that help assure fair treatment.  Unfortunately, these laws are not always enforced or abided.  We’ve made some progress through the decades… slow, sometimes back-and-forth progress, but some.  But there are many places way ahead of us in dealing with human rights and treating ALL people with dignity and respect.  I am hopeful that instances like the one Kima faced will give us all a moment to think and thus allow us a chance to live in a more humane and compassionate way with everyone around us, not just those in our own groups… who look, walk, talk, worship and love like we do.

Peace.

Public Hearing on the Enbridge Line 67 Border Crossing

Tags

activism, communication

The Department of State held a Public Hearing in Bemidji last week.  I attended along with hundreds of others.  I heard there were Enbridge representatives present, though I wasn’t aware of any.  The majority of those present were in opposition to the approval of a border crossing for Line 67 (previously called the Alberta Clipper).

Earlier in the afternoon, dozens of people met at Rail River Folk School where there were several speakers including Brandy Toft, Lindsey Ketchel, Jason Edens, Erica Bailey-Johnson, and Winona LaDuke.  The final speaker – apparently ad hoc? – was Marty Cabenais but I was astonished to see him on stage as I’d met him the previous night but had no idea he was a pipeline guy (or I’m sure we’d have chatted away quite a bit more – mostly I was cooing over his new grandchild).  I found out later that he’s also my mailman.  Small world in rural parts!

While I knew Winona was going to speak – really wish I’d heard her and hope there is a link to hear the earlier talks – I arrived just in time to hear a portion of Marty’s sharing.  It was really wonderful to see the large group of people who braved the cold to walk from Rail River to Sanford Center – a 2 mile walk in blustery cold winter winds.  Sylvia and I drove to Sanford hoping to be able to walk back to meet the group and return to Sanford with them but we realized it was quite cold and we’d be walking into the wind.  We decided to drive to meet the group and see if there were any people who needed a ride to finish their journey.  We didn’t get any takers and we were amazed to see how quickly they made their way on this route.  I was excited to be able to film them coming into Sanford.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufR-qTMZeH8

There were some chants and callbacks along the march to the event and on arrival. But the real treat was seeing the jingle dress dancers and hearing the singing and drumming. Varied spontaneous chants began from a number of people with everyone joining in as we caught the pattern. We were quite cold so headed inside to see the Hearing Room.  There were a few dozen people from Duluth/Grand Rapids and close to or over 100 from The Cities there to speak their concern regarding this pipeline.

The format of the meeting was posters with representatives to answer questions which really limited the information sharing to a few people at a time with much repetition.  There was no overall communication where all participants would hear the same information.  There were a few tables over which the presenter could show papers or the Environmental Impact Study while discussing questions but most stations were simply a standing place with a poster on an easel.  There was a video presentation with a couple dozen chairs and about 12-15 round tables with chairs for people to gather and relax.  You had to wander the room and figure out who could answer what questions by looking at the poster they stood adjacent to.  Oh, and some of the representatives are actually consultants.  Security from the Department of State in DC was also flown in for this hearing.

The event had no real format other than citizens milling about seeking answers.  The only announcements were when the event was opened and when it ended.  There were displays by the people in opposition to Line 67.  There was a Native circle dance, there was a film-crew recording, several news people doing interviews and filming the crowd.  Many felt like the State Dept people were uninformed/evasive/overly positive about pipelines.  I had some disturbing experiences with a couple reps – VERY UNINFORMED & VERY DEFENSIVE – but also some good interactions.

The attorney representing on the Presidential decree seemed to have a VERY limited understanding of the issue.  She looked at me like I had two heads when I asked about the legality of the switcharoo. http://www.oilandgas360.com/alberta-clipper-pipeline-faces-opposition-keystone-xl-vote/ https://insideclimatenews.org/news/20140917/state-department-draws-fire-allowing-tar-sands-pipeline-detour   When I explained that this was the Line 3 border crossing which was used to get line 67 crude across the border prior to getting approval for its own border crossing, she said she had no idea what I was talking about and backed away from me like I was a witch or goblin, like she was so uncomfortable as to not want to be in my presence. She truly looked frightened. It was so over the top I struggled to comprehend her fear.  She said she didn’t like the way the conversation was going and she didn’t want to talk with me any longer.  I asked if, as the attorney in the room, she might have an understanding of the legality of the happenings upon which this whole event is based and she said she “only knows about the Presidential Permit”.  Then she basically was able to read the poster.  [I had several people share with me that they had a similar experience with her where she had no answers and was very defensive.]  I decided to cut bait and find a better informed and more willing representative.  I found a woman who seemed to have a level of authority in the room and she directed me to the Engineer whose company had written the Supplemental Environmental Impact Study (SEIS) for the border crossing.

I spent quite a bit of time with the Civil Engineer and consultant company Project Manager, Fred Carey, from Potomac-Hudson Engineering, Inc.  He was being challenged by three people when I arrived.  And I was piling on.  He got pretty defensive but described himself as “objective”.  I think he was in a really tough situation but stayed pretty calm and definitely answered questions, though would not answer our questions about his personal beliefs on the pipeline.  Fred was able to review the SEIS and direct us to areas on which we had questions.  The big question was how does Enbridge monitor areas that are remote and inaccessible.  There was not a real confident answer to this question.  When questioned whether he’d walked the pipeline, whether he’d been to any of the remote areas, he agreed he’d not.  It was stated that, without seeing the property where this pipeline runs, there is no way he can give an accurate appraisal of the effect it will have on the environment.

Among multiple participants, we all agreed he was probably the best person we’d found that night that was willing to try to answer questions.  About the only person really.  Mary Hassell – how’s that for a name? – is the State Department Project Manager for this work and she was the only other person who seemed willing and capable of answering questions.  She came across also as nervous.  It was really strange to see so many people exhibiting fear and pleading ignorance in this Public Hearing which you would assume to be filled with confident, well-spoken, forthright, well-informed representatives from the US Department of State.  I mean, they flew in dozens of people it seemed.  And there was a massive security presence – always a cop or USDoS officer in view. But this didn’t appear to quell fear in the visiting representatives.

I did meet John Enger from MPR News – he was preparing to talk with Winona LaDuke and I asked who he was with as he had a large microphone in his hand.  Told him I LOVE MPR and would listen for him now that I had a face with the name.  Another older woman (Emily) also came up about the same time to greet Winona and when she realized we were both in line, she started to walk away but I told her to stay – she could be after John.  So when Winona freed up, Joe grabbed her for an interview.  Emily and I chatted and I found out that she actually lived in Noblesville for 2 months when her husband was on a 2-year stint as the Director of Connor Prairie.  Small world!  I had shared with her a neat story of Winona that she really loved. As Winona wrapped up with Joe, I called to her so Emily could say hello and I walked on to my next adventure.  I ran into Winona later and she asked me to tell her the story too.  Pretty exciting for this Groupie!

Had an unexpected encounter that was a real joy. After seeing her three times and thinking, “I know this girl” (but feeling unsure as she was not with the normal associates I see her with)… I was elated when Brandy Toft came up and gave me a hug.  I asked where her partner was and she reported that she was here on official business – turns out she is a Leech Lake Environmental Advisor.  [As you highly observant folks will remember from above, she was one of the Rail River speakers.  I was doubly sorry to have arrived late.]  It was a great joy to introduce her to Sylvia who was sure Brandy would be a great contact for Sadie, her daughter who is studying oil issues and will be stateside soon.

All-in-all, I felt a vibe of not really seeing how the public viewpoint was really going to matter much.  I think there was a feeling by many that this was more a dog-and-pony show than anything that will truly be considered and possibly make a difference.  But it was good to feel the solidarity of the crowd, participate in the shout-outs and see some media presence.  It was good to see so many people participating in civic responsibility.  I did ask every representative with whom I spoke that night, “What does all this matter really? If 90% of us all say we’re in opposition, will it truly change anything?” and what I got in response was a lot of cheerleading for the process.  “This is the most exciting part of our work.” “It’s so important to have citizen input.”  “There will be a response to every one of the public comments.” [I found out later it’s every “unique” comment.  So only every topic will be addressed, not every comment.]  No one would commit to whether or not the public comments would really make a difference in the decision made by the US Department of State.

Here are several links regarding the event:

http://www.honorearth.org/bemidjiclipper

News Coverage of the event:

http://www.mprnews.org/story/2017/03/08/hundreds-protest-proposed-alberta-clipper-oil-expansion

http://www.bemidjipioneer.com/news/4230774-pipeline-opponents-supporters-gather-bemidji-meeting-enbridge-expansion-request

Fun fact: I think I was the last person to submit public comment via the computers at the event which were logged in to www.Regulations.gov.  The gal providing tech support was Jamie and I noted that I was also Jami.  A third gal came up while we were getting me set to make my comment – she had a question – and it turns out she is Jaime.  We had to take a photo.  That’s Jaime, Jamie and Jami. 🙂

Here’s the comment I posted as the evening came to a close:

Agency: U.S. Department of State (DOS)
Document Type: Nonrulemaking
Title: Environmental Impact Statements; Availability, etc.: Proposed Enbridge Energy, Limited Partnership Line 67 Expansion Project; Public Meeting
Document ID: DOS-2017-0009-0001

Comment:
With everything there is some level of risk. And this study is geared to assess the risk. Having not yet read it in detail, I will make general comments here.
What do we know for sure? We know that we got the run-around from Enbridge in using Line 3 to work around the fact that they did not have approval to cross the border with Line 67. This deception should clearly show the lengths to which they are willing to go to make a dime.
We know that water is essential for life. And we know that oil pipelines tend, more and more of late, to leak. We also know that this oil in Line 67 is some of the worst of the worst, the most corrosive of products, the most energy intensive from which to gain energy. Are we truly considering how much energy goes in to getting a product to make energy? Are we at the point of insanity where we’re expending more on this than we’re gaining?
And we should all see the changing and worsening effects on our climate to the carbon we continue to pump into our atmosphere. If we listen to Bill McKibben and Do the Math (Rolling Stone article denoting the risk of continuing to add carbon to our air), then we will see that the risk of approving this pipeline crossing, only so they can pump more and more oil out of the ground, is too much.
We also know that this oil is basically going from one country, through our land, only to be exported. We have no gain in this and only risk of losing the cleanliness of our water, the beauty of our environment.
Because we also know that, once the oil does leak, it’s impossible to contain. It’s impossible to clean up the mess. Look at Kalamazoo. Should we blame Enbridge for hiding the fact that they weren’t really cleaning up but covering up? Didn’t they have an impossible task? If you can’t truly clean it up, why not try to cover it up instead? It’s more cost effective. Have we incorporated this deceit into the report? Or are we turning a blind eye, pretending they didn’t really do that?
So, to be truly complete, this study needs to consider that we need LESS carbon in our air. We need to KEEP IT IN THE GROUND.
I don’t know that we can stop the powers that be. The big corporation that wants to make money from selling oil, no matter how cheap it gets, making those profits smaller and smaller. The thirst of the world, with America being a huge portion of the problem, for oil. The addiction we have to a fuel that makes everything so much easier.
But this is my small attempt to give voice to Mother Earth. To stand for the Water. To stand for the People whose land will be destroyed if we continue this madness.
I am hopeful that we are truly considering, in their full impact, the above concerns as the decision is made on whether this pipeline crossing is approved.

(One typo fixed from addition to addiction.)

I encourage you to also post a comment should you feel so drawn.  You can do so here: https://www.regulations.gov/document?D=DOS-2017-0009-0001  I plan to read more deeply into the SEIS and post further comment as is necessary.

BTW, here’s some totally unrelated but really good news of people power.  http://www.yesmagazine.org/peace-justice/defunding-police-how-antiracist-organizers-got-seattle-to-listen-20170309?utm_source=YTW&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20170310

Can Urban & Rural Minnesota Get Together?

Tags

communication, sustainability

Kerri Miller had an excellent program this past month on the election and how the urban/rural divide was possibly a key to understanding the results.  http://www.mprnews.org/story/2016/12/29/growing-urban-rural-divide  She wanted to hear from urban and rural voters to get their input and she asked where we think we can find the common ground to get to solutions.  I moved to Minnesota from Indiana 2 years ago hoping for more progressive politics. Indiana seemed to be regressing with regard to education, tolerance of difference, and worker’s rights.  Minnesota was doing well – good employment (my husband had multiple job offers in Alexandria when we planned our move here), gay marriage had been voted in (indicating a place of acceptance of all people), and rural fiber optic internet was being implemented (the Harn would have faster internet than we’d ever had, even in an Indianapolis suburb!).  Alexandria turned out to be way more evangelical and conservative than I imagined.  But I now live up north in truly rural Clearwater county and it’s another interesting change because it’s actually more Democratic than I expected.  I think Kerri’s idea that we need to find the common ground is on target so I was very interested in this discussion.

Did angry, white, rural voters out-vote their more diverse urban voters?  Are political and cultural perceptions between rural and urban all that different?  Where are there similarities that can bring us all together?

Dante Chinni (Head of the American Communities Project at American University and writer for the Politics Counts blog) and Jeff Guo (Economics Reporter for the Washington Post) joined Kerri Miller for the discussion.  Jeff began with a reference to the work by Thomas Frank What’s the Matter with Kansas?, which contended that rural voters vote against their own interests after being convinced to focus solely on cultural issues like abortion and gay marriage, ignoring issues like jobs and government services.  But he then rebutted that concept as off-target with more recent work by Kathy Cramer from the University of WI Madison who says this is an insult to rural people.  She found that the rural thinking on politics is rooted in values but also a suspicion of urban people.  Rural Wisconsin voters think the decisions are made in Madison or Milwaukee without input from the rural viewpoint and then rural areas simply have to live with these decisions, which often don’t mete out to them a fair share of the resources. This has led to a feeling of not being heard and respected.  (An interview done by Guo explains this in more detail  https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/11/08/a-new-theory-for-why-trump-voters-are-so-angry-that-actually-makes-sense/?utm_term=.58996cccf753) This sounds a lot like the rural Minnesota argument.  All the decisions are made in St. Paul and all the money goes to The Cities!

So, where is the difference between urban and rural? 

Is race a factor?  Yes.  When you live in a place where there is little diversity, it’s hard to comprehend people different from you.  Dante referenced the homogeneity of the rural communities which are often also more religious. But the difference is more than this; it’s about world views which are widely divergent between urban and rural voters.

There was some humor in the program’s discussion of REAL America.  I remember that there was a lot of focus in the election post-game about how rural people feel like they are REAL America… that even though the coasts and the cities have LOTS of people, REAL America was represented as rural voters helped elect Donald Trump.  Seriously???  We are all REAL PEOPLE.  Yes.  We are all REAL, People!  And we need to stop discounting the fact that we all have value.  And each of us can have good ideas and real perspectives on our life… our REALITY.

A caller from Fosston noted the following: Small town people are affected by changes more quickly and visibly than people in urban areas.  Rural DFLers are focused on vocational jobs, hard work, and gaining the fruits of their labor without giving it to others.  MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN to these people meant going back to times before these recent “bad” changes affected their lives.  They don’t like the cultural shifts being made as they are against some of their values.

But values of rural people are no more pristine than the values of urban people.  We all have morals and just because we may differ in our values doesn’t mean we’re immoral. I believe it’s partly about perspective. Abortion is wrong from the perspective of ending a life of a child.  But when viewed from the perspective of a woman’s right to own her body and determine its destiny, a right to choose becomes prominent.

And I think it’s also about pace and information flow.  Urban folks move at a faster pace and process a huge amount of social information while rural folks move more at the pace of nature and often don’t even own a computer.  Most urban people have known someone who is gay for decades so gay marriage seems long overdue to them.  But rural folks can be more conservative in their communications, after all, things are more homogeneous and constant so, don’t rock the boat with some big pronouncement! While gay people may live among them, it is often just not addressed… it’s downplayed, denied, or simply ignored. Gay marriage seems at best, unnecessary, and at worst, a damnation.

In the country, things staying the same brings comfort.  Yes, the seasons change but this is gradual and a cycle that occurs every year.  Fast change usually means trouble – big winds blow down trees, big rain means we can’t pull in the harvest, a weasel wiping out the chicken coop means no eggs for breakfast for a while.  But also there is a focus on community that makes these changes bearable.  There is an understanding that we’re out here in the country and we need to stick together to make things work.  So when change happens, we come together to cut the trees into firewood, band together to harvest quickly when the weather turns good again, and gift some eggs to the neighbor because, when our flock takes a hit, they’ll be gifting some to us.

For Urbanites, change is fast, constant and often means good things – a new store so they can access goods more easily, the pothole fixed, new neighbors from Thailand bring a welcome food diversity to the annual block party.  But there is more frequently a tendency to take care on your own for personal stuff.  A/C broken?  Call the repairman as you likely don’t have a friend close by who knows how to fix it.  Need a cup of sugar?  The store is just down the block so you run out for a new bag.

While voter turnout was down, the rural vote percentage increased even while populations dropped. In large part, it seems to be a result of a real disappointment in our economic situations in rural areas.  There was a real belief that we needed to “drain the swamp” as D.C. is NOT WORKING.  Trump convinced voters that he was the Working Class Candidate.  But even people who know he can’t truly fix what is wrong, they like that Trump talks directly to them.  He is an outsider of the non-working system in D.C. and that gives them hope.  Some of these rural people voted Obama! They had hope for change but over the last 8 years, there has been not a lot of change that is helping their lives.  Jobs continue to flounder in rural areas and while health care is available, it’s not affordable.  And people are angry.  And Trump expresses their frustration in a way that is familiar.

An interesting aspect that I didn’t hear much about in the campaigns but see in the work of Kathy Cramer is that the big crash of 2008 was seen very differently from rural and urban perspectives.  Urbanites were hit hard by the crushing job losses and rampant foreclosures while rural people have been dealing with economic hardship for some time.  They’ve been tightening the belt since the mid-70s, so while the crash has taken a hit, the difference to normal life was not so shocking.  And while some seem to think that everyone rural is against “Obamacare”, many rural voters actually LIKE Obamacare.  They see the benefits of kids being on your insurance until 26 and not being able to be rejected for pre-existing conditions.  However, they also see how they cannot afford the coverage with the current system that still gives the power of pricing to insurance companies and not individuals. So as much as they like it, they can’t afford to access it.  Some urban elites CAN afford coverage with higher incomes, though many of them too find it unaffordable as costs continue to increase dramatically each year.  Dan’s company had a 70% increase in health care costs in December.

So where can we find similarities? Where is our common ground for finding solutions?

Dante brought up an interesting point that today we all create our own reality based not only on our day-to-day lives but also on the virtual world where we live much of our lives today.  “Everybody lives in a bubble”, he says.  When everyone is living in a unique reality, how do we govern?

In Permaculture, the Problem is the Solution.  I heard the other day, the problem is that your eyes are so heavy you can’t stay awake.  The solution is going to sleep! The problem is the solution!

America is becoming more diverse.  This has been happening for some time in our cities and is now increasing in rural areas as well.  It means we need to move toward inclusiveness.  And I think, with many viewpoints ~ native, long-term immigrant and new immigrant ~ we can find the best solutions; our differences are what can help us find solutions. Knowing each other and our relevant dilemmas and concerns, refusing to discount our differences but taking all the information into account, this is where we might find a common path forward.

I found this in working in Quality for the Steel Mills – and many in marriages see this occasionally with their spouses – everyone thinks they do the most work and get the least benefit.  Rural people don’t comprehend the difficulties faced in urban areas and vice versa.  And often, the stories of the other place are embellished and changed in ways that prevent us from seeing the reality.  In the steel mill, by sharing with each area the hardships in other areas, both downstream and upstream, we could come to solutions that benefited everyone the most and cost the least in new activity or investment.  Sometimes people simply didn’t realize how little things they did affected the next person down the line and, knowing it, they made changes to improve the process for the next guy.  This was made more effective when they knew the system was being addressed and they too would get help from changes made up and downstream to them.

How can urban and rural work together?  The cities can support lots of people and we need to support things like light rail to reduce the fossil fuel usage and increase efficiency. This helps rural people when they come to the city by having more open roadways and/or transportation systems that they can use once they get to the city.   What’s good for the metro is good for out-state, or so they say.  And in this case, I believe it’s true.  Is the reverse true?  I believe it is.  If we have good programs to support small and organic farms, there is more abundant superior local food which can also support people in the cities.  If we have good education programs in rural areas, we create more vibrant economies which provide more jobs and tax dollars, again supporting the state as a whole.

Rural people comprehend self-sufficiency in a better way so we need to listen to their ideas about working together as well.  And that needs to mean working together as urban and rural, not just for one group above the other.

What I didn’t hear about was what was TRUE about tax spending.  Rural gets a lot of money in roads and bridges.  My suspicion was that, per capita spending was higher in rural counties than urban and that tax income was higher in these counties that actually get less. And so it is. http://www.startribune.com/metro-vs-outstate-which-counties-pay-most-taxes-and-which-get-most-aid/289629981/  We have a lot of infrastructure to support for a smaller number of people in “out-state” ~ another irritant to rural folks in MN is hearing themselves described as “out-state” as if they are not a part of the state but some kind of foreign area.  Perhaps the funding going rural is put more into infrastructure and not as much in social services.  I think our roads are pretty good up here in “Out-State”. From the calls made by rural folks to the program, and what you hear from rural people, what they want is government support, not smaller government.  It seems to me that part of the issue is we have representatives that want to cut taxes (reducing the State’s income) while their constituents want more services, improved educational options, better roads, expanded internet.  You can’t have both.

With jobs being a major concern, we need to not denigrate vocational work or manufacturing jobs.  We need both.  Dante focused on the fact that many of the lost jobs are not being taken by people in other countries but by machines.  Think about the farms of the past where you milked the goat by hand.  Now one farmer can milk 10 or more cows at a time with automated milking stations.  In Detroit, the number of auto workers needed to build a car has been cut in half and, as robotics and mechanization continue, this number will continue to decrease.  This is a new economy and we need to find new ways to make money.  Any manufacturing that does develop in the US will largely be located in the rural South where wages are lower so the North needs to find a new way.  Manufacturing work is attractive and, as Jeff notes, “it sounds good to be able to say you do a job where you actually physically make things” and Dante notes that even the hipsters in Brooklyn are proud to say they make their own candles.  We all need to understand that the future is not bringing more of the jobs we know and love (do we love them?).  Dante noted that we had the Tech bubble, the Real Estate bubble, and then collapse.  We are now seeing that 1-2% growth may be the new norm.

I believe we will need a large cultural shift to find solutions. One caller (Marie) noted the difference between Obama and Trump with regard to energy jobs. Obama focused on clean energy, which is forward thinking and leading edge so maybe hard to imagine, while Trump argues for coal, which is nostalgic (and focused in rural areas) but unsustainable.  I think we can move forward in both urban and rural areas with clean energy.  There are opportunities for jobs as you see with RREAL (http://www.rreal.org/) and CEEM (http://www.cleanenergyeconomymn.org/).  It looks like MN is doing a good job on growing renewable energy: http://www.mprnews.org/story/2016/03/03/renewable-energy-fuels-21-percent-minnesota-electricity

While the future is unclear, I think we need all our brains working on it.  I am glad to be doing my little part of trying to live more sustainably.  It’s a work in progress and I’m not sure how it will grow and change as I figure it out but I definitely like not spoiling pristine water with my own waste products, using less energy with LEDs, driving and eating less than I used to, and learning more about supporting my local community.  I heard a really good podcast on sustainability from Ethan at the Possibility Alliance that has become a new challenge to me.  I’ll keep you posted as I figure out more.  http://www.thepermaculturepodcast.com/2015/episode-1523-ethan-hughes/

In the end…

From the interview with Jeff Guo, Kathy Cramer says this about her work with the rural people of WI:

And then I would go back for a second visit, a third visit, a fourth, fifth and sixth. And we liked each other. Even at the end of my first visit, they would say, “You know, you’re the first professor from Madison I’ve ever met, and you’re actually kind of normal.” And we’d laugh. We got to know each other as human beings.

I think this is the key.  We need to recognize each other as human beings.  We all have some things in common.  We want to love and be loved, we want a better world for our children, and we want to be safe, comfortable and fed.  We need to see the anger and fear as a result of not getting these things and, rather than criticizing it, find the solutions to eradicate the anger and fear.  If we stay in the fear and anger, fighting each other, we won’t get very far.  But if we work together, we can find a good way forward.  Here’s hoping the Minnesota legislators can do this in a way that helps us all.

Photo credit: http://www.difference.site/rural-vs-urban/

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Tags

being nice, communication, cooperation

Another interesting week on Lake Darling.  My return to town has been somewhat calming as life returns to what it was before all the travels, but the last few weeks of travel and amazement highlight the mundanity of the weeks back home.  It has been nice to catch up on some sleep, see Mom and Tom and the kitties, and get back to work at the bookstore.  Another weekend of work up at the Harn (another 4-day weekend) has increased my realization that the Harn is where I truly long to be.  There is a peace about this place.  As much as the hectic nature of our travel compares to a quieter life back in Alex, the Harn provides an even more peaceful place when compared to town life.  And it comes without the mundanity as there is always something to figure out at the Harn, something to build, or something to move… once again.  Life at the Harn is not so repetitive, outside of the moving things, but seemingly full of endless possibilities… for work!  It’s not an easier life. It is quite invigorating!  But it also offers less electronic distractions and a chance to slow down in many ways.

Many express concern to me as I discuss my upcoming transition to full-time Harn life noting how lonely I will be, how there aren’t enough activities and people to keep me entertained in the North Woods.  They lament that I will be “bored”.  But as much as there is quiet and solitude, there is a wood full of entertainment.  There are red squirrels chattering at me all day and coons twittering in the dark hours; an occasional deer caught off guard in the woods emitting a startled alien-like snort. There are bugs of all sorts scampering and frogs and toads jumping.  There are trees swaying and whispering as the winds rustle their leaves. Inside, there are boxes (many, many boxes) of books full of information and adventure to consume.  There is more time spent in porch sitting as we consume almost all our meals outside this time of year.  The cooking and cleaning take a bit more work with our limited resources and current need to carry water. There are also friends up here to visit and, yes, an occasional trip to town.  And coming home in the dark wondering if that was a bear you just heard keeps the heart pumping.  So, no, not boring at all!But will I be content moving out of civilization?  Interesting to contemplate considering what is currently happening in “civilization”.  There are endless battles in our world.

• People fighting for power and those in opposition who want more of the resources.
• There are those who want more development (often at taxpayer expense) and those who want to remain with the status quo.
• People of color that want equal rights to a public education and those who fear allowing them in the district will bring crime and violence. [Inspired by this past weekend’s This American Life – well worth the listen… http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/562/the-problem-we-all-live-with]
• Parents who fear for their daughters’ reputations and girls who want to express themselves. [Circumstances and hindsight will determine who is correct in their stance.]
• People who want HRC for President and those who want her in jail.
• People fighting for an oil pipeline to transport Bakkan oil and people standing for the purity of the water that a leaky pipeline would destroy.

Just to mention a few.

In the current political race, it seems there has been less civility than ever.  But, like crime, is civility actually at an all-time high apex?  Is it truly that we live in a world where people are more polite, more compassionate than ever? Is it just the non-stop, instantaneous possibility for information that makes it feel like there is so much more strife?  Or are we just being more open-minded, accepting everything as it is and allowing it to be in the open for all to see (and judge)?  This reminds me of a favorite saying of my husband Dan’s: How far can you open your mind before your brain falls out?

Is it that our media focuses on the drama, allowing people to be rude and outspoken, to dish out all sorts of outrageous nonsense in the name of entertainment, that we find it OK to be assholes?  Or have we always had this asinine behavior but now it’s just more in our spheres of consciousness?  Does that make it worse?  Or are we revealing it, thus increasing awareness and hopefully causing many to realize this is NOT the way we want to live?  Is this free-for-all of rudeness bringing about a transformation to peace?

I believe that self-awareness and mindfulness make us more aware of incivility, especially our own.  And, in awareness is the awakening to the non-productive and negative aspects of uncivil behavior. Our awareness is the first step to making a change in our own lives to improve how we interact.  We can each take steps, once aware, to treat the other with compassion and love rather than hatred and intolerance.  As a believer in Karma and the Three-Fold Law, I find that what I give out comes back and in knowing that I want compassion and love, I know that is what I need to give.  I am not perfect in living this but I feel I am making progress in being less antagonistic. [Danny may occasionally disagree!]

And I do believe that the more open-minded we are, the less judgmental we tend to be, the more accepting and tolerant and thus, the more civil.  Being open-minded involves some level of awareness that we just don’t know it all.  An ability to say, “I don’t know” is a good start to having an ability to be civil.  It is in knowing for sure, with complete certainty, that we do not allow the other to have his space for a difference in opinion.

Civility is claiming and caring for one’s identity, needs and beliefs without degrading someone else’s in the process.

~Tomas Spath and Cassandra Dahnke, Founders, Institute for Civility in Government

From the Institute for Civility in Government website:  Civility is about more than just politeness, although politeness is a necessary first step. It is about disagreeing without disrespect, seeking common ground as a starting point for dialogue about differences, listening past one’s preconceptions, and teaching others to do the same. Civility is the hard work of staying present even with those with whom we have deep-rooted and fierce disagreements. It is political in the sense that it is a necessary prerequisite for civic action. But it is political, too, in the sense that it is about negotiating interpersonal power such that everyone’s voice is heard, and nobody’s is ignored.

And civility begins with us.

 

http://www.instituteforcivility.org/who-we-are/what-is-civility/

Some friends of mine recently got together to discuss Civility and one of the quotes was a proverb: A civil question deserves a civil answer.  I agree.  I think we learn much when we come together to discuss ideas, as long as we have a respect for each other’s ideas, especially when they differ from our own.  The U-Group where Dan and I participate is a wonderful opportunity for this kind of sharing.  We sit with friends, read ideas/quotes on a topic, contemplate these ideas in silence, and then discuss them with a single person holding the floor while the others listen intently.  This space is sacred in that it is full of love and acceptance for all the ideas and words shared.  It is a place where each of us can develop a new understanding within the self.

However, I think often these days many of us are not asking civil questions but questions that provoke, questions that give us an opportunity to expound on our own opinions without any true curiosity regarding any possible difference of opinion.  One of my favorite sayings is that the goal of any argument should not be success but understanding.  It seems many of us are too focused on success and reassuring ourselves that we are right, than in trying to dig deeper into an issue to find a bigger understanding.  I am learning more as I age that it is better to listen to others than to share in conversation because I then gain more information than I already had.  And often, my opinion is nonessential.  I find also that, even when people ask for my thoughts, sometimes there isn’t truly an openness to hear them.  I’m pretty blunt at times so perhaps it is just that I dish it out a little too strongly!  But I do find that people are often open to me, in sharing and listening, I think because I tend to be relatively non-judgmental.

In this day, it seems many are quick to judge and condemn. This is discussed in-depth in a recent book So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson.  Ronson delivers a good read about the way public shaming has come back to life (think Twitter remarks and FB posts) and, like the whipping post of the past, has resulted in much undeserved punishment.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pillory He tells a few compelling stories of those who have been quite publicly shamed that give insight for consideration.  His stories are based on talking with these individuals and it’s interesting to hear the different responses to the shaming experience.  We see it all the time on FB – quick responses on posts, condemning or criticizing the ideas or actions of others.  But who are we to jump on another for some slight failing?  Are we not all human?  Do we not all fail in small ways each day?  Can we not have a bit more compassion for the fact that we’re all doing our best, or at least trying?  Sure there is an occasional outright attempt to be shocking or rude.  But doesn’t this behavior indicate a real suffering that perhaps may need attention?  Perhaps we should keep in mind that each of us is dealing with our own personal struggles every day and sometimes these struggles do not allow us to perform at our best.  When encountering someone being uncivil, sometimes a reflection on what horrors they may be facing helps me have compassion even with the most angry, abusive, or combatant of foes.

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/camelswithhammers/2013/02/the-camels-with-hammers-civility-pledge/  Found this to be an interesting read on the subject.

I find that I am the most impolite when I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT). Years ago in recovery, I learned about the HALT methodology to check myself for balance to realize where I might need to adjust.  It is a good personal check-in to determine when I may be not taking care of myself which, in turn, means I am also more likely to be taking things out on those around me.  I also need to take care when I am feeling fear or stress, which also inhibit my ability to keep a clear mind.

Inner civility is another space for contemplation.  How civil am I to ME?  Is it possible that my level of inner civility drives what I am capable of with others?  Does that give me a small pause in considering the impolite person?  Is he, in his inner dialogue, completely inhumane to himself as well?  How hellish a life must that be?  Perhaps I can have a moment of compassion for him.

My Youtube channel recently had some comments going back and forth.  The video was of the DAPL Protest site in Cannon Ball, ND.  It was a video I took on arrival at the site as I was transfixed by the power of song and dance being used in the non-violent action.  The argument in the comments was ridiculous nonsense with one commenting that the music and dance were horrible and the other pushing back against the pro-oil stance of the initial commenter. Both were disrespectful and immature.  As I contemplated this later, and thought back to my own experience of “being the asshole”, I realized this: The path of incivility is an easy downward slope, but when you later realize that we are all human and deserving of respect, it’s often a long, painful trudge back from the valley.

The Community Ed movie this week was Tangerines, presented by Ken Howell who reminded us to not confuse this movie with Tangerine (a story about a transgender sex worker who finds that her boyfriend/pimp is cheating on her).  The movie, followed by discussion, was a beautiful opportunity to reflect on the nature of war and human civility.  In this film about war-torn Georgia, a scuffle results in two soldiers sharing a small house together with a local man, Ivo, as they recover from their battle wounds.  One soldier is Georgian and the other Chechenian.  Enemies in the fight.  Both had lost comrades from their side.  And during their recovery, groups of soldiers show up to visit Ivo’s house, with interesting outcomes. The personal interactions are beautiful and heartening though left somewhat open for interpretation (like all good art films).  My take-away from the movie was that, if we could all just enjoy a meal together, we’d find our common humanity and some level of civility with each other that would end all war and conflict. If we could all just stay in the moment, simply and quietly enjoying common ideas… that we need love, that we can serve each other, that we all want a better world for our children… we could find peace.  I urge you to put this film on your To Watch List as the characters are well played and the story well told.  It also will give you a look at what Harn life is like – the similarities were striking at times… a simple life of tea and soup, woodstove and woods.

I’m looking forward to that life.

Can America Heal from its Racist Roots?

Tags

American Dream, communication, cooperation, Rule of 3

This country was built on the genocide of one race and the enslavement of another.  Genocide and Slavery are not just the American Way.  This is the way of much of the colonization and empire building throughout the centuries.  And yes, there are still outposts of slavery, there is still a slave trade in human trafficking that many pretend doesn’t exist, and there is oppression of all kinds around the globe.  But America seems unique in our propagation of practices which unequally affect people of color.  And the events of last week in three days are seeming to bring us to the brink of comprehension that we absolutely must address this issue. FINALLY.  But what is the root of issue?  It is VERY complex. However, I am in hopes that we are beginning to awaken and will start working toward resolution.

The problem we see resulting in the murder of black men by police (that’s the way I see it) has many roots.  Of course slavery… but more recently, economic segregation, scapegoating and inequality.  Power seems to be at the root of it to me.  Those in power do not want to share it and thus find ways to subjugate [bring under domination or control, especially by conquest] others, those with the least power being the most affected, in keeping said power and wealth.  As a white woman I have seen injustice in pay scales, working with men making more money than me for doing the same or lesser work.  But I know that my privilege [a special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group of people] and entitlement [the fact of having a right to something] blind me to the plight of those who are inexorably disadvantaged.

As it is coming more and more to light in many places in this nation, I am having my own awakening to racism.  At Northland Rec Lab this year, I had the amazing experience of being with Dasha Kelly (http://dashakelly.com/) and Kima Hamilton (https://www.facebook.com/kimahamilton?fref=ts).  Dasha walked us through several exercises related to writing but also to addressing our own perceptions, including our racist tendencies.  She helped us look at expressing ourselves in new ways.  And Kima did this presentation for us and I sat with tears, barely containing sobs.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4AntFF9M7s  (His piece starts at 0:45 seconds.  The sound on this recording is not perfect; seeing this in person was so much more intense.  Standing 20’ from me, Kima’s presence was palpable as he spoke these words.)  So relevant.  So powerful.  But as big as his impact with this performance was, his impact on me with a few simple words is what I keep close in mind from our interactions.  With five simple words from Kima, I was dumbfounded into silence and immobility. I was shocked into a profound humility and a deeper understanding.

I’d approached Dasha and Kima with a simple question that had been running around my mind.  I realized of late that I am often forgetful of the fact that I am fat when interacting with others.  Though the America population is increasingly growing in individual size, I know that my weight calls me out as different. But I often forget and feel like I am skinny.  I actually joke that I’m a reverse anorexic because I feel skinnier than I truly am.  And I realized that sometimes I feel just like a human, not a fat human among average body type humans, not different… but the same.  And I had been wondering if it was in any way similar in being black.  Was there ever a time when you felt like you were just a human, not a black human?  Because Dasha and Kima had opened themselves to these discussions as the only two black people among a huge group of whites (and one Asian), I explained this idea to them and then asked as we walked toward the Dining Hall, “Is there anything similar for you? Do you ever forget you’re black?”

Dasha seems like a sister from another mother to me.  I just LOVE her vivacious, bold, funny, flamboyant personality.  Her amazing way with words and her open, loving, welcoming style make you feel like you’ve known her forever.  And she and I engaged in a quick conversation about this idea.  We thought about possibilities and examined the idea commenting back and forth as Kima walked along with us in silence.  When we arrived at the building, she turned to him and said, “What do you think, Kima?”  And he looked at me, at least it felt like he looked directly at me, through me even, and said almost in an off-hand way as if it should have been obvious, “I never forget I’m black.”

It should have been obvious.  I realized it immediately.  Kima is a big man. A big, black man.  A man with dreads.  A man with physical strength and size.  And that is what many see.  That and only that.  Forget his beautiful and friendly smile.  Forget his loving heart that shines through his encouraging and considerate words.  Forget his gentle touch on your shoulder as he walks past or his quiet, open face that listens intently to you… or watches, like a child seeing it for the first time, as Laura demonstrates methods in clay during her workshop.  Forget that he’s human.  It’s easy to do in this programmed place where we reside.

We see it nightly on our screens. Black man = Criminal.  Black man = Danger.  Black man = Scary.  Even my friend here in Alexandria recently said that her black daughters were exclaiming concern over a “black man” outside their home.  We are ALL being programmed to fear black men.

After that question to Dasha and Kima, I realized how crucial it is that I continue talking with People of Color to try to comprehend a bigger perspective.  To expand my understanding and hopefully contribute to doing something toward reducing racism, my own and that of others.  As I walked to the next workshop moments later, I had an emotional breakdown.  I began to relive my past relationships with black people like an end-of-life, flash-before-my-eyes video.  I began crying as I walked in the rain and by the time I got to the building, I was sobbing aloud.  I remembered Bobby Whitehead. My mother occasionally likes to tell the story of how I came home from elementary school one day to let her know, “I’m going to marry Bobby Whitehead.”  I remember Ivy Green, my best friend in 1st grade.  We were fast friends.  I remember Lavesa Peterson, my best friend in 6th grade.  She lived in the projects behind the Kroger.  I didn’t know what projects were but I remember seeing the difference in her home and mine.  Not that it was a big impact then.  I just wanted to hang out with my friend, I wasn’t evaluating her environment. But I remember being the one who was different in this world of black people.  Lavesa got pregnant soon after and disappeared from my life. I thought back to that one time I went to the Society of Black Engineers meeting, again being the one person who was different.  Why didn’t I go back?  Was I afraid?  Intimidated?  Or just indifferent?  I remember Deb Hudson and Wendell Harris, co-workers at Inland Steel who would challenge me and converse with me in open ways.  It seems my whole life I’d been given opportunities but squandered them.  I sat in that bathroom letting all this emotion wash over me, feeling the regret of so many years.  As my sobs subsided, I thought to myself, “I don’t want to do that anymore.  From this point forward, I want to work to find space in my life to interact with people of color.  I have to work on this when I get an opportunity.”

I don’t know if I had any idea of what this would mean. But I committed to engaging with a new friend for whom I have a lot of respect based on the couple interactions we’d had of late.  She’s a black woman who speaks her mind boldly, often surprising me with her comments.  Her honesty and openness is refreshing.  On several occasions, we’d talked briefly, both seeing a comrade I believe.  A few weeks after Rec Lab, I found an opportunity to meet with her.  I spent time listening to her story and was amazed by it.  I was thrilled by the loving connection I felt to this woman and was happy to have found a friend, a sister, a woman with whom I can share and listen with both of us finding fulfillment.  And I am hopeful that there will be from our friendship some progress on race relations. Every interaction brings us closer to breaking down those barriers that exist when people of difference do not collaborate.

Why is it that America seems to continue to struggle?  I think part of it is due to the fact that we have never made amends for past transgressions.  “History is written by the victors” says Howard Zinn.  And his literary work was based on rectifying this by writing history from the perspective of the vanquished.  His People’s History of the United States is worth a read.  Here’s a *.pdf if you care to pursue it… http://www.thegoyslife.com/Documents/Books/A%20People’s%20History%20of%20the%20United%20States-%20Howard%20Zinn.pdf  This work shows how, over and over in America, those in power have continued to quell the masses with small indulgences while maintaining and growing their power and status.  The current state of American politics is that we will likely have the choice of voting for one of two millionaires, one beholden only to himself and one beholden to many wealthy donors and corporations.  Where is the candidate truly representing the people?  Not on the ballot in most cases.  Some of us may take the opportunity to vote for another woman, Jill Stein of the Green Party, as a way of rebelling against the limitations brought by two parties very much aligned in continuing our capitalist, imperialist, militarized, and corporatized future.  One owned by the few and supported by the poor, umempowered masses. One that is rapidly depleting and destroying our planet.  And People of Color lose disproportionately in Climate Change too.

[Sorry, I just needed a bit of humor to keep from screaming.  Get your bumper sticker here: http://www.northernsun.com/Destroy-Planet-Before-Jesus-Bumper-Sticker-(7280) ]

There are many roots to the problems causing the issues associated with race in this country.  And I’m not sure where to begin but making amends for past transgressions would be a good start.  Paying a $15 minimum wage to assure all workers get a reasonable chance at living without intense poverty.  Giving People of Color more opportunities to do ANY job they want, get ANY education they want, live ANYWHERE they want.  I know that politicians like to keep us divided, fighting amongst ourselves while they run away with all the spoils.  They keep us in fear of each other, typically pitting Whites again People of Color, making them the scapegoats.  This way, we’re not watching while they make more rules to benefit those who own our political system.

The Non-Fiction Book Club at Cherry Street Books is currently reading The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson about the migration of Blacks from the South to the North.  The story follows three individuals but also speaks of the migration at large, the reasons behind it, and the ramifications for those participating.  It addresses the misconceptions held by many, that Southern Blacks were more likely to be on welfare, caused more crime, had more children, thus making things worse when they moved North.  None of these perceptions of the migrants was based in fact, but only on prejudice. Data showed that Southern Blacks were often smarter than Northern Blacks and even many Northern Whites.  They were typically very productive citizens, even against all odds of finding equal employment, fair wages and affordable housing.  And they paved the way for their kids to do better by giving them the advantage of growing up with more education, freedom and opportunity than they’d had in the South.

In the book, the South was often depicted as more easy to deal with than the North.  In the South, the laws were written to legitimize the unequal treatment of Blacks.  In the North, there were no laws but the practices were in place nonetheless.  The mirage of freedom and equality in the North was much harder to dispel than Southern laws which could be changed with the swipe of a pen.

While we’re no longer lynching Blacks in public displays, the inherent racism in our present society creates a system that still stifles the ability of Blacks to progress, limits their access to success, and impedes their experience of justice.  I know things are better for Blacks in many ways but we’re progressing much too slowly and of late we’re seeming to regress.

It is much more complex than simply Loving Your Neighbor Regardless of Color but this is a good place for many of us to start.  To not “Love your neighbor” based simply on the color of her skin is truly ridiculous.  There is no sense in it. Some say Racism is a mental illness and I must say this makes sense to me.  Our current society is a culture of fear and in it, skin color is a marker for many negative concepts.  But this is programmed perception and thus it can be changed.  Prejudice is taught.  And acceptance and fairness can be taught in its place.  We can find ways to overcome ignorance, indifference, and inexperience.  We can consider our own thoughts and ideas and find the irrationality.  We can find opportunities to open our minds and create interactions that bring new ideas and perceptions.  We can do this together.

The answers are complex but I encourage you to consider what you can do.  If you are black, begin a conversation with a white person in your world and see what comes of it.  If you’re white, invite a black person to coffee and see where you find common ground.  At the very least, we all want…

• love and acceptance
• happiness
• a better world for our children
• to have enough
• to BE enough.

Find a way today to give these things to someone else and goodness will surely come to you. What you reap, you sow.  Sow some oats of Redemption.  I hope for many conversations in the coming days and I hope even more for real progress on race relations in this country.

 

Family Ties

Tags

communication, family

The importance of family has been prevalent in this past week.  We headed to Indiana for Father’s Day weekend and had a whirlwind couple of days FULL of family.

We started our trip Thursday and headed to Uncle Dick’s in Merrillville, Indiana.

This is my beloved octogenarian Uncle who builds models, winters in Florida and can fix absolutely anything.  He and my Aunt Dee, now on the other side, have been such an instrumental part of my life in so many ways.  From the parties of my youth on our LONG trips to Indiana, to helping me get my first job, to all those family dinners, to now being a favorite landing pad in Indiana, it’s so good to contemplate the support they’ve given.  The drive from his place is a bearable 9 hours or so and it’s always a joy to hear his stories and, usually, share a meal with the cousins as well.  Dawn and Jim have the house next door to him (an amazing old Mafia mansion) and that is the family gathering place. Karen and all her family sometimes join us too.

From Dickie’s, we headed south to Fran and Ed’s and had some barbeque lunch.  This visit was a bit harder as we realize our dear Ed is still struggling with recovery from recent surgery.  He too has been so instrumental in my last couple decades that it’s hard to imagine life without him.  For now, we’re enjoying every minute we can.  I know that eventually we lose all our loved ones, but it’s still tough when facing the possible imminence of it all.  I am hopeful he’ll perk up but I was grateful to have been able to present him with a Father’s Day poem capturing many of the wonderful memories we’ve made through the years.  It was a bittersweet visit.  Our biggest topic of discussion of late has been The Boy… but we’ll get there.

Steve and Rook ended up meeting us at Fran and Ed’s for a quick visit and then we all headed off to meet Steph for dinner at that wonderful restaurant I discovered on my last visit to Indiana, El Sabor Catracho.  They have the most delicious Honduran food!  Their Papusas are my new favorite thing.  You can see my Yelp Review here: https://www.yelp.com/biz/el-sabor-catracho-indianapolis?hrid=0pw8XrO5J8Lhdyl-DGZTjQ

We headed to Steph and Steve’s for the night and the next morning were helping them move a little furniture and organize in their new house.  It was a thrill to see Rookie with his Swiffer – he’s a keeper!  🙂 And our boy Studley is doing so much better now that he’s settled in his new place.

We headed back by Fran and Ed’s for another hug and kiss or two and then up to our friends’ 50^th birthday party in Lafayette.  J-Pop and Ronnie Bob turned 50 this month and had a HUGE gathering to celebrate.  Jacqueline aka J-Pop (her “Jersey” name – don’t you love FB?) used to work with me at SDI and we were like peas in a pod and keep in touch still.  It’s so nice when co-workers become “family”.  We were able to also spend a bit of time with a few old co-workers of mine and friends Beth and Rick & Carla who we met through Jacqueline.  New friends Stephanie and Billy were a hoot, as was Greg/Fred.  The old friends are all looking younger than ever, though Jacqueline and Ron were fighting injuries that were making them feel all of their 50 years.

Sunday was the main reason for our trip.

Danny’s Mom’s family has a tradition of celebrating with a family reunion on Father’s Day each year.  We attended several of them in the years we lived in central Indiana and his relations always made Tom and me feel like we had been there all along.  Melvin and Maxine, Dale and Mary, Kim and Annette, Wayne when he was around, Charmy pulling me under her wing, Dave chatting Tom up about Purdue… well, just everyone snuggled us into the family in such a loving way.  This year was the 100^th Annual Black Family Reunion and we’d had it on our calendar to attend for 2 years as it was also to be the final reunion.  Families had spread out, grown into other things, and the recent reunions had dwindled to a handful or two of mostly the older folks.  But this one last time, we were going to get together and celebrate the giant family that originated with Charles and Lottie Black.  Danny’s Mom was a Black and his dad used to go back home to Arkansas and tell all his friends that he’d gone to Indiana and married a Black girl.  His uncle Kenny, when we met him in Las Vegas years back, would joke that he’d get pulled over by the police because they were always “picking on a Black man”.  And when I tell people I’m going to Danny’s Black Family Reunion, I always get a second glance.  I’m happy to be a part of the Black Family and I am pretty sure we also have some black in our family.  I’m especially proud of that.  One of my favorite old photos is of a store in Crawfordsville, Indiana that a forefather of mine owned and it had a sign out front noting “Colored” being welcome, which at that time was a real controversy.  I am glad my family was on the right side of it… inclusion.

The 100^th Annual Black Family Reunion was much the same as its predecessors in that we had the long table of food with several noodle dishes, mashed potatoes, salads & sandwiches, and loads of desserts.  (Thanks for Jacqueline for saving my bacon on bringing a dish to share!)  Charmy had brought multiple dozens of the sugar cookies Grandma Black used to make and I hear they were delish. Someone had also arranged to have a big bowl of the pink candies that Grandpa Black used to always have in his pocket for you.  They still make them!  And Mary provided ice cream for all so that was a nice cool treat on what turned out to be a scorcher.  We’d rented the air-conditioned building instead of our normal open-air barn and that turned out to be a brilliant idea!  We also had some new things like old Super 8 video that had been converted to DVD and was playing throughout the day; the wedding dress and suit Charles and Lottie had worn, even his bowler and cane (and you wouldn’t believe the weight of that suit!); old family photos and some chalk paintings Grandma Lottie had done for all her kids & grandkids; and a big family tree where everyone could put their leaves to show the family members in attendance for each of the Black kids.  Olive was at the top as she’d not had children but each of the other eight branches had someone representing.  Lottie and Kenneth at the top had the fewest with 2 and 4, respectively.  [Dan is part of Kenneth’s line and besides us, I believe it’s just Brenda (Kenny’s wife) and her son Keb and his family.  There are some kids of Jack’s too but I don’t know if anyone knows who or where they are these days. Jack was kind of the black sheep, so to speak, and a bit of a player.  Always wish I’d had a chance to meet him but he was gone before my time.  The only member of Dan’s immediate family that I got the chance to meet was his dad, Earnest.  But he’s been gone for going on a decade now.]  Vera had 11, Marie had 13, Iona had 15, while the big three were Ethel (27), Charles T. (28), and Madge (39).  Tom and Celia were there with us and she made quite the impression on Dale ~ Danny said she was charming his socks off!  We were able to see Danny’s Mom and a couple shots of his brother and went home with a couple rare old photos.

From the Reunion, we headed over to the Flora Cemetery to see the many family graves.  This is where Dan’s family headstones are, though his won’t be among them.  There is so much history in this little graveyard.  So many old stories.  Dan shares a few with me.

Then we head to Tom’s apartment for a discussion on how his job search is progressing.  It was good to have some time to talk with him and Celia.  Each visit I get a bit more time with her and she’s turning out to be quite impressive.  It’s obvious she is adorable and sweet when you first meet her but taking time to hear her logical arguments and accurate perspectives makes you realize this isn’t just some cutie pie but a very intelligent and thoughtful woman he’s found.  I am very happy that they have each other as they make this transition into adulthood.  Leaving college for the world of work is a major life change and I’m hopeful they will complete this transition with as much success as they have had thus far along their paths.  It was really impressive reading the letter of recommendation Tom received from the CGT Department Head.  He was an exemplary student and a major help to their department.  I am so proud.

We headed North back to Dickie’s for the evening and, when we called with an ETA, he said to come to Dawn’s.  We did as we were told, even though driving past his house we noted the garage light at the last moment indicating we’d probably just missed him coming home and would not find him at Dawn’s.  It was good to see her and Jim and have a few minutes to talk.  With all that we had gone through this weekend, having a talk with my (very slightly) older relation gave me a chance for some feedback and perspective.  She also shared a story I’d forgotten… about her bringing Gramma to our place in Ohio when I was young.  She’d taken Rob and me to the amusement park and given Gramma an opportunity to see us that she wouldn’t have had.  Grandpa had died early, likely from workplace exposure to toxins, when my dad was still a teen. Gramma was always old in my mind but looking back I can see that she wasn’t as old as I’d thought when I was a kid.  She definitely grew older over the years and I remember watching her grow more frail.  I was living near her in Northwest Indiana at her life’s end and was able to visit her at the nursing home and have some time with her.  I was in the hospital with her the day she passed.  Not the moment she passed, though Dawn and Karen and Dick and Dee all were as I recall.  But the day.  I remember her being incoherent that last day while I was there in her hospital room.  My entire visit was spent talking with other family who were present.  But as I walked out that door to leave, clear as a bell she said, just like the old days, “Love ya’, Jay.”  I stutter-stepped at the door and called back, “I love you too, Gramma.”  But I didn’t go back and give her a kiss.  I have always regretted that.  Not taking that one last opportunity.  It was an important lesson… to listen to my gut when I feel like taking an opportunity to express myself with others… so I don’t miss a chance to let them know I love them.  To share the appreciation I have for them.  To let them know how they have made a difference to me.  I still miss opportunities today, but not nearly as often as I might.

Brother Rob even made it into the weekend as he texted me that he had received his birthday present in the mail from Mom and me.  🙂

It’s amazing how full this trip was with Family.  We were able to see many but not all of our birth and chosen family and checked in with many we didn’t see in person.  And for us, it’s all Family.  Friends and Co-workers are just as much Family to us as the blood relations.  These people we love, whose stories we cherish, with whom we have made many memories… this is what life is all about.  Sharing love and life and happiness.  Supporting each other through troubles and pain and sadness.  Reveling in the joys and holding each other through the difficulties.  These are the people that make this trip around the universe worth every single minute.

Letting Go

Tags

communication, Freedom

Letting Go

I do love you. How could I not? You brought me to life.

I miss you sometimes. It’s been years. Sometimes I wonder if you think about  how many years it’s been. Do you even realize?

I do I remember our last time together. It was devastating. I knew then I would have to walk away.  I could no longer place myself in your presence. It was too painful.

Your words cut through me. At first I thought you were trying to be funny. But no, you were serious. Did you see how much your words hurt?  I think you were too caught up in the performance.  I don’t know what I did to deserve the vitriol.  But maybe you do.  Maybe  you did see.  Maybe it felt like revenge.  Was it sweet?

There’s a part of me that longs to continue our relationship. A part of me that misses our talks. Misses the insight you used to bring me. And wishes I could hear again how you love me.

But I know on some level you do love me, or did, in your own way.  What we had was good at times and I look back on the good times and smile.  Maybe it was enough for this lifetime.  Maybe next life we’ll do it differently.

There’s a part of me that wants to share all the gratitude, the good times, the current failures and successes, the hopes for the future.

But knowing the risk of being hurt, one more time, outweighs the desire to try again.

Someone asked me the other day if, when you die, I would have any regrets for not reaching out. Would I feel like there was unfinished business?  Would I be okay?

Of course there is unfinished business. But it doesn’t seem there is the willingness, or maybe even the capability, to finish it.  So it is irrelevant.  I think I will be sad, but I will not feel guilt.

I sometimes think I want to ask you for what I need from you. But I don’t think you’d comply. And then I remember that I don’t really need anything from you.  It’s just an idea… not a requirement for a happy and fulfilled life.

A part of me wants to tell you exactly how you hurt me in hopes that, if you knew, you would apologize, we could discuss it, and perhaps reconnect. But then I wonder if you already know and are simply unwilling to feel remorse.  I have no assurance that you would be able to act differently toward me, even if we did talk it through.  I don’t know what it would take for me to trust that our future would be different.  We’ve tried it before, to no avail.

Besides, saying these things to you would likely only be received as hurtful.  I don’t think you can not take it personally, without biting back. I don’t think you’re ready to hear it as love reaching out for reunion.  I don’t think you’re ready to hear it as sharing for reconciliation. Without blame. Without malice. Simply a desire to find peace. For us both.

And then I wonder again, was it me who hurt you first? Did you not know a way to reach out and find resolution? Was the only way forward, that you could see, to strike out and make me go away?  Forever.

Holding on to the Dream

Tags

being nice, Bernie, communication, conservation, cooperation, dreaming, family, sustainability

I woke up one day last week to this Sailboat of Dawn and it brought a beautiful feeling that reminded me to stay on track sailing toward my dreams.

What is our biggest dream?

The Harn.  The work at the property is progressing with wood clearing and processing.  We had a little snafu with one woodpile.  It just didn’t look quite right after we’d stacked it. And as the weight of the pile sunk into the wet, thawing ground… it seemed to get worse.  Almost visibly changing before your eyes.

As we took a break on the porch (minutes after the above photo was taken – Danny says I shouldn’t have leaned on it, but I swear I didn’t!) and prepared for leaving for Easter dinner with some friends… we heard the crash and knew immediately it was our woodpile.  It was a wreck!

As remedy, we grabbed one of our newly scavenged pallets and re-stacked.  It was not fun having the do the work twice but it taught a valuable lesson on the importance of a good, level base and proper stacking.

Our next pile looked much better.

How do we hang onto our dreams?

We were recently talking with some friends who also are living a somewhat alternative lifestyle and we discussed how some people just can’t seem to cease criticizing.  Whether it’s family members, church folks, friends or general people you run across in town, everyone has an opinion.  And when you choose to live a life that is outside the mainstream, people often can’t comprehend and sometimes feel a need to explain to you why you are wrong.  It reminds me of the saying: “People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”  Just because some people don’t comprehend your dream doesn’t mean it won’t come true.

We, and our friends, are watching our dreams unfold before us as we work towards them.  It may be in fits and starts, may take longer than we originally hoped, but materialize they do.  These dreams are nurtured with talking and drawing and doing, with imagining and believing and working.  We share our successes and advise against repeating our failures.  Actually, I like to refer to “failures” as “learning lessons”.  In each attempt, something new is learned, even if it does not bring the success or outcome originally intended.  Sometimes it brings an idea which never would have come.

Take, for example, our Rocket Mass Heater (RMH).  Last fall, we were disappointed that we didn’t get very far with our cob work (the mass surrounding the exhaust tubes).  We felt like we should have started the project earlier in the summer rather than waiting so late in the season.  But, what we realize this spring is that the exposed tubing heats the Harn pretty quickly once we fire the stove.  (We are losing a lot of heat through the chimney but it’s not the end of the world.)  Once all the mass is added, it will take much longer to heat our space because the mass soaks up the heat first.  Typically you don’t want to fire the RMH unless you have several days over which to enjoy it so a short weekend would make the fully massed RMH not as useful as is our partially completed RMH.  So we have learned that we will leave a portion of the tubing exposed for quicker heat up until such time as we are here on a more permanent basis.  (BTW, if you care to support a wonderful Kickstarter for an upcoming book on how to build your own RMH… click here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/rmhbuildersguide/the-rocket-mass-heater-builders-guide?ref=nav_search to donate to our mentors’ {Ernie & Erica Wisner} project.  They are getting amazing feedback and we’ve been privy to some of the draft info.  These two are true masters and this will be a wonderful reference book for building an inexpensive heating system that also is gentle to our environment.  Even a $3 donation will be worth your while as I hear Ernie’s truffles are fantastic.)

So we ignore the naysayers, which is sometimes even us, to hang on to knowing we are progressing in the way that we are and believing this is the way it is intended.  Because it is the way it is.

Danny got me a wonderful gift reminder for Valentine’s Day and it’s come in quite handy over the last month or so as I’ve faced criticism.  It’s a card set based on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  The Four Agreements are: 1) Be Impeccable In Your Word. 2) Don’t Take Things Personally. 3) Don’t Make Assumptions.  4) Always Do Your Best.  One of the most insightful cards I read recently was:

It helped me remember that what others think of me is often not based on ME but THEM.  In turn, I must realize that what I think of others is not about THEM but ME.  It gives much food for thought.  And today’s card I read as I took a photo of this one was also quite timely:

I feel like I’ve had to learn this one over and over again.

And what’s the big dream outside my span of control?

Bernie!!

Bernie is picking up momentum.  He’s won 5 of the last 6 states in a big way and the one he didn’t win, Arizona, had massive voting issues.  There’s no way of knowing what the difference would have been if people had been allowed to properly have their voices heard.  But it does reveal apparent efforts to have the voice of the people stifled.

Bernie has a good chance of continuing his strong gains as most of the upcoming contests show him favored to win. (Sketch credit: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Bernie-Sanders-545088750)

I am keeping my hope for him alive as I believe Bernie is our best chance for a happy future and our only hope to beat Trump.  If you have resources and gumption, please donate to his campaign and help push him to victory.  https://go.berniesanders.com/page/content/contribute

 

Tree Relo & Pi Day 2016

Tags

communication, cooperation, family, Finding Fulfillment, Freedom, living local, sustainability

What a weekend!!

Every so often at the property, we need to clear trees.   The first big clear was for the pole barn location and that was pretty grand.  The second big clear was when we thought we were going to put a cabin closer to the road, which turned out not to be our plan in the end, but we are going to be using that cleared area for hoop/greenhouse space within the next few years.  This phase was to provide clearing for a house garden and water storage, along with clearing some trees to allow light for the garden area.

We arrived Saturday evening after swinging through F/M (Fargo/Moorhead for those not from these parts) for the Celtic Festival where our friend Mikko Cowdery was playing.  Mikko & Friends is an eclectic mix of folks, constantly changing but always delightful.  As we got there early, we had time to chat with Mikko a bit and see some of the displays.  The Celtic Festival is a small affair but well-done.  Lots of activities for the children and amazing food (the Concordia chef was on hand).  We listened to the pipes and drums which opened the event, then investigated the Viking ship and wandered a bit.  Mikko also told me the tale of the serendipitous way he’d spent the previous night.  He and the group were practicing in the café at the hotel and there were a few kids close by playing games.  As they played, these youngsters became interested and Mikko and Doug asked if they wanted to learn a song.  They did!  So the guys taught them a few ditties with Chuck playing along on his penny flutes.  They quickly realized these kids could sing. It turns out they are from the Robbinsdale-Armstrong Choir! The group of 6 turned into 12, then 20 and then 40.  It was a grand sing-a-long and it was joyous to hear Mikko sharing about it.  Doug too shared with us later at lunch and then, just as we were leaving, Chuck also gave us a run-down.  I think those kids and those old guys had a magical time.

We too were in store for some magic as we sat down for the Mikko & Friends hour of playing.  They started off with a couple fun ones that we knew so we were able to sing along.  Then, just a couple songs in, these kids started wandering up to the stage.  In all there must have been 75 or more kids piling up on the stage in rows behind the quintet (Annie O’Flynn, Michael Cowdery, Doug Tatge, Michelle Wencl & Chuck Wencl).  Then they began to sing and it was phenomenal.  They did Hard Times, Galway Girl, and many others.  They kids were so happy to be singing and the elders were so happy to have accompaniment. I don’t think Mikko & Friends has ever been such a large crowd!  We were blessed to be able to enjoy it.

After the kids left, Mikko & Friends wrapped up with a couple more, including The Unicorn Song, one of my favorites from the days of summer at Camp Shawano.  Then came The Long Nines, the Burckhard family from Aberdeen, SD.  While we grabbed a quick bite, they set up.  Dan & I shared a combo meal which was the perfect amount of food.  Dan ate a banger, the soda bread and bread pudding while I chomped up the other banger, mashed taters, kraut, and roasted veggies.  Yummy!!  We headed back to stage for the Long Nines show and then watched as they wrapped up with Mikko & Friends joining them on stage.  What tremendous performers.  Definitely will be seeing them again when we get the chance.  We will have a chance to see Mikko & Friends Friday March 18^th at the Quad A.  Hope to see you there!

The ride to the Harn was uneventful, full of rolling prairie, an eagle, and some trumpeter swan flocks.  The scenic route from F/M to DL to Alida was quite relaxing.  When we arrived, the Harn was 42°F while it was in the 60’s outside.  We fired up the stove to take off the chill, eventually getting it up to 82°F before bed time.  We warmed blankets on the exhaust tubes and rolled into bed with them, noting the spring ahead on the clock – already losing time!  Since everything in the Harn was still cold, it was in the low 60’s when we awoke.  Not too bad!  We slept in a bit and, since Dan is the early bird all week long, I took time outside while he rested some more.

I have been reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer so wanted to be respectful in our harvest, asking the trees permission.  I sat with the trees explaining what our plans were and asking for their help in getting this done.  I promised them we would value their sacrifice and make sure they all went to good use: some building up dirt, some providing housing for local critters, some for firewood for our home, and some for hugelkulture.  I sat and listened for some time.  Then I walked to each tree asking if it was willing to help by giving its life.  I had asked for them to be clear to me since I was new to this.  They reminded me that I’ve been talking to them for years and I reminded them that I had only been diligently listening for a short time.  But it was clear to me.  I could feel the trees that wanted to stay and the many that were willing to fall.  It was a most humbling experience.

When Dan was up, we talked about our plan.  How to fell the trees and who would do what.  This time he would be our chainsaw operator.  I would be working the loppers.  Drop, lop, drag, and chop.  That was the plan.  We carefully felled each tree, trying to drop them through each other and into clear space without hitting Harn or shed and without getting hurt.  It was amazing work with only a couple trees trying to spin or having too much weight in the wrong place making it hard to control.  But each tree fell where we wanted, within a couple feet.  Only once did we fear damage as we felled one of the larger trees we were dropping between the Harn and shed (a space of about 12-15’), with three trees in between, trying to thread the needle.  The tree fell in a good spot but had a large enough canopy that it shattered with some debris hitting the shed.  No damage done, just a bit nerve-wracking!

We spent some time considering the garden clearing and left more trees than planned so they can act as our garden fencing.  We realized there is no way to have a garden in the middle of the woods without fencing.  In fact, in that area there were easily 5-6 fresh deer scat piles and one more discovered Monday morning, which I think was fresh that day.  Once the garden clearing trees were cut, we lopped the branches, added them to our large brush pile at the south side of the clearing, and pulled each naked trunk to the pallet area across the driveway to cut them down to logs for the fire.  The smaller trees and some branches were piled along the south side of the garden clearing to create a barrier along the path where we will someday have a hugelkulture.  We also made a smaller hugelkulture area inside the garden area with very small pieces.  The plan was to chop trunks into logs and then pile them in the clearing north of the drive.  This will be our 2017-2018 wood pile.  Or maybe we’ll keep it for even later.  We have 2 cords of the wood pulled from the south clearing in 2012 that is ready to burn any time so we may let this age longer.

We headed next to the east side of the clearing to cull trees for allowing sunlight to the garden area and for a space to place the 750 gallon water tank.  We will be pulling water from the south roof of the Harn above the arctic entrance and screened porch. The guttering will allow for catch of this water and we’ll run a channel over to the storage tank from there, so we want it to be pretty close.  This water will be used for the garden and outside plants. We ended up cutting a few more trees than we originally planned in this area.  And we had too much process work to finish this weekend, so we’ll be back up soon to get that work completed.

We did a few last minute tasks and headed for home back at Mom & Tom’s.  I was so lucky to have Thumper join us this morning.  He was in his regular place at the end of the drive, thundering away for me throughout the day.  He thumped just as we were leaving and I thanked him and told him we’ll be back soon.  There is much more to be done but being at the Harn also provides a relaxation that I get nowhere else.  It is a joy to be there.

And what a joy to be home! When I asked Mom if she & Tom wanted to join us for Pizza at the Depot, she said, “Of course!  It’s Pi Day!”  Se we all went out for some good pi(e).

Happy Pi Day to you all!

 

Another week in the life

Tags

Bernie, communication, Death, Freedom

As I contemplate this week’s blog, I look forward to the last week of happenings and the next week of activity.  It’s been an emotional week with discussions at the Civil Rights movie, concerns expressed in Jay Sieling’s Senior College teachings on The Internet of Things and the political discussions.  And the coming week hints no end to the possibility for emotion.

Dying to Talk!  Feb 7/21 & Mar 6/20 @ 6:30 PM at the Nest in AAHS

Our 4-session discussion group Dying to Talk! begins again this week.  I will help facilitate people through discussions of end-of-life concerns such as facing terminal illness, POLST forms, determining ideals for the aging process, dealing with aging parents, death with dignity, and designing your own funeral.  We will learn from each other as we share experiences, ponder aloud on ideas and work our way through understanding a process through which we will all walk.  I hope I provide some good fodder for the discussion and I’m excited about the group that will be participating.

Civil Rights Struggle   Loving Story  Feb 4 @ 6 PM Grand Arbor

We watch the final film in the series (postponed due to weather last week, so I don’t want to hear any crowing about how amazingly adept us Minnesotans are with regards to weather) The Loving Story billed as a “heartwarming story of Mildred and Richard Loving, an interracial couple who married in 1958 despite Virginia’s anti-miscegenation laws”.  http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/the-loving-story  I adore that their name is so perfect for their story!  But again, as with the other films in the series, it will bring up details in a story to which most Americans have never been exposed and one that some today still wish had never happened.  It is making us face the racism inside each of us and I’m enjoying the discussions with all those who come to share. 

Reading for the week

Lots of books in the agenda at present:

• Ordinary Grace – the Community Read and William Kent Krueger will be here the 9th.  As I read, I have the strange feeling I read this book before… it happens.
• Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer – Have to at least get the first two sections read for the Non-Fiction Book Club this Sunday at Cherry Street Books – 6:30 if you want to join us!
• Socialism, Seriously by Danny Katch – I’m about halfway through this but it’s been in progress for months (I am always reading so many books that some get finished in hours while others languish on the pile).  It’s really making good points about the nature of capitalism and socialism.
• Welcome to Braggsville by T. Geronimo Johnson – A new ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) of a book on the idea of 4 students from Berkeley heading to Braggsville to intervene on the Civil War reenactment rebranded “Patriot Days”.
• Felicity – This book of poems by Mary Oliver will be relished this week as we move closer to Valentine’s Day.
• The Essential Bernie Sanders by Jonathan Tasini – This will take a few weeks to process but I figure I better get more up to speed on my candidate.
• The Wonder of All Things by Jason Mott – the opening of this ARC includes the crashing airplane of the town hero and it’s drawn me in already.
• When Things Fall Apart by Pemo Chodron – It’s been on the pile for weeks but may get cracked this week if time allows.
• Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande – Should finish this one this week for sure.

Is this too much to expect?  We’ll see!!

I read a book this past weekend called “George” by Alex Gino about a young child named George who has been born with the body of a boy but feels like a girl.  It’s geared for 8-12 year-old kids and is written in a clever story addressing the feelings and circumstances of this experience.  I hope it will help kids and families who are dealing with this issue which I personally find difficult to understand.  While I don’t completely comprehend feelings of this sort, I struggle to find comprehension.  I sent a long note to the author and then had a discussion about the topic with my son and his girlfriend which brought even more food for thought on this issue.  The idea of gender is getting much attention of late and our ideas about gender are changing.  Homosexuality is more accepted than ever, women and men both are breaking stereotypical gender roles in the workplace and at home, and I find myself ever more frequently asking if the person I am seeing is a boy or girl.  But the question I believe I should be asking is, “Why does it matter?”  I think one reason it does is in respecting the person for their preference in how to be addressed.  I found great insight in this blog regarding the singular “they” by the author: http://www.alexgino.com/blog/ And for those who don’t believe they can be singular, did you just read past, without noticing, my use of it a couple sentences back?  I think there is opportunity for much discussion if I can only find a group of grammar-nazis like me.

Having just checked Urban Dictionary for the details they have on the use of the term grammar nazi (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Grammar+Nazi) I’m now a bit worried about the trail I have left in the Interwebs…  Jay’s class these past few weeks on all things Internet was interesting but created an increased paranoia of how much information the Interwebs now has on me!  It also prompted me to update some passwords, adding length and symbols to them which really increases the probability of security… from what?  Who knows?  But it made me feel a little more cozy.  If you want to check your password’s strength, check it out here: https://www.grc.com/haystack.htm  Though in talks with my son last night about rainbow tables, now I’m not so sure again…

I should probably go back to worrying about my tooth which may need to be replaced with an implant.  Cha-Ching!  Thankfully we have dental coverage.  Which many Americans still don’t.  Which brings me to a plug for Bernie:

And the big news for this week, the Iowa Caucus!  It will be interesting to see how things turn out… on both sides.

Dan and I will end the week goat sitting for our friends in Becida.  It will be good to get north to the Harn again and maybe we’ll even get over to Itasca State Park which this year will celebrate 125 years.  Hope that you have a wonderful week full of fun too!