So, what most people want to know is… How on Earth did you Retire at 45???
The simple answer is, my husband went back to work so I could escape the rat race. The longer answer, of course, is more complicated. Everyone needs income, right? And most families these days need two incomes to stay afloat. But money isn’t everything. Really, there are so many factors that come into play that we need to go back a bit…
Dan and I met in 2001 and within a year, we were married, in fact, a year to the day from our first date, so we have a double anniversary. This year will be 13 years married and 14 years dating. And it’s just around the corner… good thing I have some ideas in mind for his gift already. 13th anniversary is Lace but I will put a non-consumer spin on things, as usual. Which brings me to one of the first reasons why I could Retire at 45.
1. We are not focused on materialistic consumption.
Most Americans use STUFF to fill up our lives. Billboards, magazines, high school yearbooks even, and especially TV are all there full of advertisements for things we NEED. Thus, one thing you can do to help yourself is turn off the TV. I mean, why do you think they call it your “Evening Programming”? Because it’s programming you!
Here are a couple good links to a short story that really speaks to my heart.
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/recognizing-happiness/ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140501101904-16911014-the-fisherman-the-businessman ~ both these guys are inspiration to me.
Having been brought up in this programmed, consumer culture, being able to retire early involved some additional steps. I had been buying in for years and had a TON of stuff, including debt… which brings me to my second point.
2. We eliminated debt so we don’t have to keep working for more and more money.
When Dan and I met and found blissful happiness (it was a process, but it is definitely awesome), we decided we didn’t want to live the typical American Dream. We wanted freedom, happiness, serenity and joy. And we were willing to forgo some extras to enjoy this freedom. We had a “5-Year Plan” to get out of the rat race. So, we’re a little behind schedule… More on that later.
We started looking at everything we spent. Danny had been using Microsoft Money for years (we’ve since moved to Quicken as MS Money was discontinued) so he could literally tell me how much he spent on almost everything. We set budgets for how much we could spend for dining out, fuel for the cars, entertainment, clothes, etc. And we watched where our money went. We started making double house payments. We also read Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominquez and Vicki Robin (http://vickirobin.com/books/your-money-or-your-life/). This was a life-changing read and it helped us commit to our plan to escape to a more simple life. It focuses on how much you spend on each purchase in terms of life energy, or hours at work, (literally, your freedom) and evaluating your behaviors to see if the spending is really worth it.
Now, we still spend a lot of money – maybe more than we should. But we spend it on things that matter to us, things that last, on experiences that bring us joy, and on others. We try to live simply in many ways but focus on frugality, not deprivation.
3. We figured out what really mattered to us.
It’s one thing to know that you’re not entirely happy in your current circumstance. It’s another thing altogether to figure out how to BE HAPPY. The night Dan and I first met, and this may be the point at which I fell in love with him, I asked him what he thought the meaning of life was. He said: “To be happy and to try to help others be happy too.” So, how to do that?
We knew that working our lives away was not fulfilling us. We knew that spending time with family and friends was. We knew that reducing our expenses was key to reducing the amount of Life we needed to expend in Work. We knew that we were both willing to work hard… for ourselves and our community. We knew that preserving the planet was of utmost importance (it helps to have a place to live) and that we wanted to keep our impact low and our enjoyment levels high. We decided to find a place to be where we could keep expenses low, build a sustainable future and create community around us that was in line with our goals and beliefs. I’ll share more on how we did this and where we are now in upcoming posts.
4. We made a plan to achieve our dreams.
One of the things I believe in firmly is a Dream Page. I’ve made several in the last decade and most of my dreams have already come true. (Note to Self: It’s probably time for a new Dream Page!) And Dan made his own Dream Page a few years back too. We believe that putting to paper what you desire is a magical way of making it come to fruition. So what did we put to paper?
Pictures of… Simple Homesteads. Open Land. Happy Couples. Families Living in Harmony. Outdoor Showers.
Sayings about… Protecting our Planet. Loving Nature. Clean, Clear Water. Simplicity. Love. Happiness. Togetherness. The Common Good.
In 2007, we finally set our plans in motion and bought some land.
5. We believed. We worked toward our goals. We got me Retired at 45.
We took a huge step forward in early 2014. We prepped the house in Indiana for sale, Dan went to Minnesota to search for work, I started acting as if I could retire later in the year. Dan made two trips to Minnesota and in late June he did a round of 8 interviews, getting multiple offers. He called me mid-week to let me know we were moving 4th of July. Independence Day indeed.
I’m telling you that this is doable. Yes, it takes commitment. Yes, you may have to delay gratification for a short while or eliminate some things in order to have others. But it is worth it. It is possible.
So if you have a desire to get out of the Rat Race, to enjoy your life more than you are now, then start Dreaming, get to Planning and then Believe it can happen.
Retired at 45 
Yes, Jami, you did it, and I have to take my hat off to you! Do you think it’s easier to do if the children are already grown and independent?
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Well, he’s still pretty dependent… but yes, knowing we’re close to getting him through college helps. We have assured that we have savings to get him through the next couple years so he comes out of school debt free.
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Jami — There are SO MANY variables regarding everyone’s financial situation. It’s just not that simple. For instance, we have no debt either BUT we live in the most expensive city and pay the highest taxes in the U.S. We have one, not two, cars and it is 25 years old so we have no car note and just liability insurance. We have lived in the same apt. (under rent control) for 25 years and we have to pay for underground parking. Renovated apts. in our apt. bldg. are almost twice the rent which we are now paying. We can’t really afford to move to another apt. Now let’s talk about medical/dental coverage. We know the main reason people file for bankruptcy in this country is medical bills. When someone is hit with a catastrophic illness — it can wipe out your entire savings and put you deep into debt. Major dental procedures can cost thousands of dollars and neither medical or dental are covered 100 percent by your health insurance. Also expenses depend on where in the country you live. Again, we have high rent and high taxes in DC. Groceries are also high. We have to buy clothing to wear to our jobs. Our major monthly expense is housing. It is a necessity that two people work in our household. I wish I was able to afford to retire but it is not in the cards just yet.
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I absolutely agree that there are a million variables and that is one of the key points in my opener, that it comes down to choices. My dad once said, “You’re too young to retire! I’ve been working a lot longer than you and I can’t retire.” And I responded to him, “But you’re not willing to live in a dirt house in the woods.” (At that point, we were planning on possibly building an earth bermed home.) It should be noted that Dad did beat me to retirement, so you just never know. 🙂
That’s a big part of Dan and I making this happen. We don’t have the latest fashions, our phones can text but we don’t use a text plan, we minimize medical expenses as best we can. There is so much more to the story and I’ll be expanding in upcoming blogs. Hope you stay with me and keep providing your perspective. There’s so much to talk about on this subject.
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I’ve officially responded to a blogger…
I echo Jami’s comments about retirement and what you can do. Fortunately, I lost my job and was forced into 2 years of “retirement”. It opened my eyes to the fact that I want to and will retire much sooner than 67 or 65. Life is short and there are many friends and family I want to spend time with instead of working for the man.
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Yahoo! Glad I could give you that first, Pat!
Sometimes what seems to be a negative can really be a positive. Actually, most times, given some time and perspective.
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Are you paying rent? That is our largest expense and there is no way of getting out of that. You need shelter. Also, even if we moved to the suburbs — with only having one old car — we would need to move near a subway line and apts. near subway stations in the suburbs are just as expensive as what we are paying in the big city. I don’t own a cell phone and have no plans to own one. Yes, we all make choices and try to conserve as much as we can. I don’t buy anything clothing wise unless it is on sale, clearance and I use coupons where I can when purchasing clothing. As for minimizing medical expenses — you just never know when an emergency can occur — whether it be a ruptured appendix (as was the case with two brothers) or a ruptured hernia — again a brother and a husband. So — we all minimize our medical expenses but you just never know what could happen. Just speaking from my own experience as well. All the power to you.
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You bring up great points, G. Yes, life can be expensive. For us, it’s about minimizing these expenses as best we can. This would be a lot harder for us in a major metropolitan area where we have little control over housing costs, transportation and the like. But we’re willing to live in the woods, with little infrastructure, and without the latest greatest STUFF. Living as healthy as we can to prevent large medical expenses will definitely be a factor once neither of us is working full time with benefits. We’re still figuring it all out but so far, so good!
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